Page 47 of The Holiday Boyfriend

The emcee announced a short break before the last dance, and my heart pounded in my chest. I followed behind the group to an empty bench. Ethan and I occupied it while the other two went to get drinks.

Ethan scooted close to my side and looked at me with stars in his eyes. He was bundled up in a thick winter coat and a red scarf, and his breath came out in cold puffs. “You two looked great out there. I'm so happy to see you and Jim together.”

I offered a half-hearted smile and tried not to show the storm that was currently raging inside of me, but I failed. “What's wrong?” Ethan asked. The happiness that had lit up his face had turned into worry, making the guilt pile up inside of me even more.

“Sorry, it's nothing.” I tried to bluff, but Ethan stared me down with a look that told me to spill my beans. “It's just, I love him, you know?” I said, waving to where Jim was waiting in line for drinks.

Ethan nodded in understanding. “Then what's the problem?”

The problem was that he didn't love me back. That this entire thing was a charade. It meant nothing to him…but it meant everything to me.

I couldn't tell any of this to Ethan, though. For all he knew, Jim and I were madly in love and I was overthinking everything.

“I don't know how to tell him. And what if he doesn't feel the same?” I said, rubbing a hand over my face. Laughter had me looking up and shooting Ethan a questioning gaze.

“I don't think you have to worry about that. I see the way he looks at you.”

Before I could ask him what his statement meant, we saw Jim and Kingsley walking back toward us. “Follow your heart and you won't go wrong,” Ethan quickly said with a pat on my back before running up to Kingsley. I also stood to meet Jim and accepted the hot drink he handed me with a thanks.

The emcee called for all the couples to return to the dance floor just as we finished our drinks. Ethan shot me a wink as he pulled Kingsley to the dance floor. I turned to Jim with a shy smile. “Shall we go as well?”

He grinned at me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the dance area. We found a spot with relatively fewer people around. I saw my parents amongst the couples as well as who I thought were Jim's mom and Edna swaying together off in the distance. That was a surprise that I hadn't been expecting.I wanted to ask Jim about it, but with the slow music starting and Jim's hands on me, I didn't have the capacity to think about other people's situations.

Our feet barely moved as we swayed with the music. His eyes were focused only on me. I thought back on what Ethan had said to me and wondered if it could be true. Would Jim accept my love despite me being a man?

“Austin, I want to talk about us and our—”

“Wait, can I say something first?” I asked, cutting him off before he could end our relationship and break my heart. If my heart was going to get broken anyway, then I may as well lay it all out there first.

Taking a huge breath, I readied myself to place everything on the table.

“I love you. I've loved you for years, and I don't want to lose you after tonight. I want us to be together. For real this time. As a real couple. And I know you're not into men, but I think there's something special between us. Maybe this,we, could work if we gave it a shot,” I said. The words came out in such a jumbled mess that I worried he didn't hear me properly.

When Jim didn't speak, I was prepared to say it all over again. I would say it a thousand times if it meant he'd agree to be with me. Instead, he chuckled.

My hands fell from his body. He could have rejected me and left me with my dignity instead of laughing at me. Humiliated, I started to turn away, but he pulled me back. “Wait. That's not why I'm laughing.”

I grumbled and let him pull me back to my original position. He cupped my face with his hands and stared right at me with shining eyes. “I should have known you'd surprise me first.”

I stared at him in confusion. Seeing my expression, he pressed a quick kiss to my lips before pulling me to the side. “Look,” he said, pointing up at the giant Christmas tree.

My gaze slowly lifted to the bright lights and decorations that covered the tree. I didn't know what I was looking at, but suddenly the lights on the tree flicked off, leaving only one section lit up that said:I love you.

Right underneath the words was a heart. I looked closer and saw that the Christmas ornaments we'd made in high school were nestled inside the heart.

Turning to Jim, I gaped at him. “Is this…for me? Didyoudo this forme?” I asked in disbelief. There was no way any of this was real. I must be confusing reality with my dreams again.

“Of course, I did this for you. It's not every day I get to give the most epic love confession to my best friend,” he teased. He brought our hands together and looked at me with complete sincerity. “Austin, I want to be with you. I want us to grow old together and support each other like we do now.”

“But you're straight,” I said in a daze, and I could almost punch myself for reminding him of that fact.

The love of my life was telling me he wanted to be with me, and here I was trying to talk him out of him.

He snorted. “I think we established I wasn't the first time I sucked your dick,” he said.

I quickly covered his mouth and looked to see if anyone was paying attention to us. They were all looking at the tree and probably trying to figure out the secret behind it.

He pulled my hand from his lips and pressed a kiss on it. “So what do you say? Do I get upgraded from a holiday boyfriend to a full-time boyfriend?” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

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