So how was I supposed to go back to being only friends and pretending that none of this ever happened?

SEVENTEEN

AUSTIN

I tried to delay the trip to the city as long as I could, but eventually had no choice when the tourists stopped visiting our town. Being away from Jim was the last thing I wanted, especially when my time with him was already limited.

The one good thing about the distance was that I got to see another side of Jim during our nightly calls and learned the fact that he seemed as interested in having penetrative sex as I'd been dying for.

“Did anybody catch your eye at the club?” he asked, sounding nervous. Jim had blown up my phone all night while I was hanging out in the club with Theo. It was a bit hilarious.

It was funny of him to think that anybody else could catch my eye when there was only one person I wanted, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I liked seeing him jealous for once, and that fact would probably freak him out.

We joked about being holiday boyfriends, but I knew that none of this was actually real. It was something to relieve our frustrations while being single. If I brought real emotion into this, Jim would cut me off immediately.

However, it was hard to remember that this was all pretend when Jim acted like the possessive boyfriend of my dreams.

I couldn't reveal how I truly felt, so I could only tease him. “There were some hotties there,” I said as I examined my fingernails. They were getting a bit too long for my liking.

A deep growl had me looking back at Jim, and I laughed at the expression he was making. It was fun teasing him, but I wasn't someone who enjoyed seeing the person they loved miserable. “But nobody could compare to you,” I said with all sincerity.

Jim's frown morphed into a brilliant smile that had me stunned in place. “It's true. I leave all the others in the dust,” he said, puffing his chest out.

I snickered and turned the topic to somethingsafer. Like chatting about his day at the farm or how Thanksgiving planning was going. He always went home to celebrate with his mom and her neighbor, Edna.

The conversation flowed easily, as it always did with Jim, but it seemed that neither of us wanted to hang up. That led to us chatting until I'd eventually fallen asleep with the phone propped on the pillow next to mine.

When I woke the next morning, the call was still connected and Jim's sleeping face had taken up the entire screen. My heart constricted at the sight of his peaceful expression.

This was what I wanted every day for the rest of my life. For him to be the last person I saw before I went to sleep and to wake up to him in the morning. It was such a simple thing but so hard to actually achieve.

My hopes were already skyrocketing higher than I could manage, and I didn't need to be any more delusional about this situation than I already was.

Before Jim could wake up, I ended the call. And every night for the rest of the week, I always made sure to get off the phone with him before drifting to sleep.

* * *

Driving my last client to their family's house for Thanksgiving, I finally started making my drive back to Wintertown. I'd said my goodbyes to Theo this morning when he left for his parents and I’d gone to pick up my first client of the day. My bag was already packed and in the back of the trunk, so there was nothing else keeping me here in the city, but I was hesitant.

Jim must have sensed that something was up, because he'd asked me multiple times, and I could only insist that everything was okay for so long.

The rest of the drive home passed quickly as I thought of how I was going to act when I saw Jim again. By the time I entered the limits of Wintertown, I still hadn't figured it out, so instead of stopping home first, I went straight to my parents'.

“What are you doing here so early?” Ma said when I walked into the kitchen. Pops was helping her prep for the big meal.

“Just got back to town. Thought I could help you make dinner.” I gave them both a kiss on the cheek before stealing some of the berries they used for the sauce. Ma tsked and slapped my hand away.

“Go to the living room and bother your sister. You're going to mess up our system,” Ma said, waving me away. I laughed and stole another handful of berries, which earned me another glare from the woman in charge.

I left the room before Ma decided the wooden spoon in her hand would make a good whacking stick.

Gemma was cuddled on the couch, watching a movie. “What are you doing here?” she asked, looking up at me.

I plopped down beside her on the couch, pulling her into a hug with one arm and tousling her hair with another. “What? Am I not allowed in my own home?” I teased.

She pushed me away and flattened the hair that I'd messed up. “I thought you wouldn't come until later. Why aren't you with Jim? He said he was waiting for you at home.”

I needed a little bit more time to sort out my feelings before seeing him again. Before I entered the house, I'd sent him a text letting him know that I was heading to my parents' early. He wouldn't get mad at me for that, but that didn't stop the guilt from eating at me.