Page 62 of Best Thing I Never Had

“Youshould get down.”Takingher arm,Ilead her down from her precarious spot standing on the sofa.

“I’mgoing to get some air,”Itell her, asIturn to walk away.

Reachingdown,Iadjust the hard-on currently growing in my jeans.AndIknow there isn’t enough air in the whole damn country.

chapterthirty

selena

Jackson’sbeen gone a long time.Itwas easier before he got here.BeforeJacksonshowed up,Iwas just me.Havingfun with the girls.Butwhen he’s here,I’malways looking for him.Wonderingwhat he’s doing.Wonderingwhat he’s thinking.

I’mthinking about howIgrossed him out with the body shot.Whatthe hell got into me?Icould have just licked his arm or the back of his hand or something.Ididn’t have to practically grind on him and lick at his neck likeIwanted to give him a tongue bath.Hestormed off the secondIwas done, soIknow he was disgusted.Andembarrassed.Forboth of us.

“I’mgoing to go get another water.Anyonewant one?”Iask the girls around me asIstand up.Everyonenods and shoutsyes pleasesandyes, thank yous. “Okay, be right back!”

Lily’sgirlfriends from high school are so great.They’vebeen so nice, andIhaven’t felt left out once tonight.Theymake me miss my own girls, though.Ihaven’t seen enough of them since this whole thing started.Andit’s not just becauseI’min a different country right now.It’sthe same whenI’mback home inL.A.

Ihave no excuse, except thatIhate lying to them.Ican’t tell them the truth that the only thing betweenJacksonand me is a legal contract with terms and conditions.Itjust seemed easier to avoid them until this thing was over.It’sonly two months.ButIneed to go to brunch with them as soon as we get home.Imiss brunch.Imiss my girls!

Ijust won’t talk aboutJackson.That’sprobably a lot easier than not thinking about him.BecauseIknow that’s not happening.Notfor the next four weeks, and probably longer.Alot longer.

Aftermaking my way up the stairs to the bar,Isidle in untilIfind a spot leaning against the bar and wait for a bartender to notice me.Gettinga round of waters isn’t exactly high on every bartender’s list, butI’mgoing to leave a big tip.WithJackson’scredit card.It’sthe least he can do for making me think about him every waking second.

Myhips slide back and forth to the music asIwait.Thisbar is really old.There’sthe faint smell of cigarette smoke, even though it probably hasn’t been legal to smoke in here for twenty years.Butit’s fun with all the neon signs.I’mgetting a lesson in country music, and the seating area is great.Igive this bar four point five tequila shots.

Somethingnudges me from the left, almost making me lose my balance.WhenIlook over, it’s a guy.Assumingthat he’s just trying to get up to the bar,Itake a step to the side, giving him more room.

He’sa lot taller than me, probably around six feet.He’sbig.Probablywell-built.Hehas a face.It’sprobably fine.Buton aJacksonWatersscale of hotness, this guy isbeige.Andthat’s the problem withJacksonmaking himself my standard.Beforethe elevator, maybeIwould have thought this guy was hot?Now,Ibarely even see him.

“Whatare you having?I’llbuy you a drink.”

“Oh,I’mgood.Thanks, though!I’mjust getting some waters for me and my friends.”Iwave back towards the couches and take another little step away from him.

“Comeon,I’mbuying.Whatdo you want?”

“I’mreally okay.Thankyou though!Havea good night.”IdecideIneed a little more space, and turn to leave and walk down to the other end of the bar.

Hereaches for my arm, butIpull it away before he can touch me. “Hey, what’s the problem?Don’tbe such a fucking bitch.You’vegot your tits out for every man in this bar to see.It’sso fucking obvious that you’re just begging for some guy to buy you a drink and take you home and fuck you.Ionly wanted to buy you a drink, so don’t flatter yourself.Youshould be so fucking lucky.”

Andin that moment,Isee red.Istop trying to sidestep away from him and make myself smaller.Instead,Iturn back to face him, straight on. “Excuseme?Fuckyou!Idon’t want your drink.Ipolitely said no.Nowmove the fuck along!”

Theguy looks surprised.Likehe can’t believe thatIwould stand up to him.HowdareInot be grateful for the free drink he’s trying to throw my way?Well, he can fuck right off.Idon’t have to wait around for a man to choose me or toss me whatever breadcrumbs he feels like sending my way.Ugh,Ihate men like this.Sometimes,Ijust hate men.Period.

“Youfucking bitch!”Whenhe walks towards me,I’mafraid.Idon’t want to be, butIam.Thisguy is six feet tall, and he looks strong.Hehas big, meaty hands.Thethought of his hands touching me makes me cringe.

Hereaches for my arm again, butI’mtoo slow.Thistime, he catches me and he presses his fingers into my skin, so hard thatIwince.

Shit, he’s hurting me.He’sdigging his fingertips and nails into my arm.

“Ouch!Letme go, you piece of shit!”Icry out, trying to sound braver thanIfeel.I’mpissed, but this guy could really hurt me.Atbars inL.A., there’s security everywhere.Butwe’re in the middle of nowhere, and the only securityI’veseen is the bouncer at the front door checkingIDswhen we came in.Myeyes dart around the dark bar, looking for someoneIknow.Ihaven’t seenJacksonsince he stormed off afterIlicked him.Lily?Gunnar?Whereare all ofJackson’sbrothers?

“Owww.Fuck!Letme go!”Avoice that isn’t mine calls out.

Suddenly, my arm is free, the man’s tight fingers releasing me.Ipull my sore arm up to my chest, cradling it in my other hand.

I’mokay.I’mokay.I’mokay.

Irepeat the words to myself untilIbelieve them.

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