Page 86 of The Bossy One

Declan grimaced. “That was pretty shit of me, wasn’t it?”

“You said a bad word,” Catie said, wide-eyed.

“Well, I did a bad thing,” Declan said. He met my eyes, and some sort of apology passed between us.

“I did too,” I said. “That time, I walked away, instead of taking some calming breaths and getting more information about the situation.”

Catie chewed her lip.

“I know it can feel scary when adults fight.” I tucked a piece of Catie’s hair behind her ear. “But sometimes adult fights are just about us saying difficult, scary things, so that we can get on the same page again. So in a way, this fight was a good thing.”

Declan cocked an eyebrow at that, as if to say,Aren’t you laying it on a bit too thick?

I sent him back a pointed look, trying to communicate,She’s crying and she’s six. There’s no such thing as too much reassurance.

Declan cleared his throat and tugged Catie in for a gentle hug. “The point is, I’m not firing Miss Olivia, and she’s not leaving. She’s staying with us until your Mom comes to pick you up. I promise.”

Catie hugged him back tightly. She turned her head to look at me. “What were you guys fighting over?”

Shit.

“Um. Well. You know the saying, ‘Secrets, secrets are no fun, keeping secrets hurts someone?’” I said. “Well, we forgot that advice and kept some secrets, and we accidentally hurt each other. But now we told each other the secrets, so it’s going to be okay.”

It sounded so simple when I said it like that.

The problem was, I didn’t know what “okay” would look like for us going forward. Could we get past this as a couple? As friends? Or would we fall back into being polite and professional strangers living in the same house, the way we had in the beginning?

My heart ached at the thought.

“What were the secrets?” Catie asked, curious.

“Hey, I have an idea!” Declan interrupted with phony cheer. “Let’s call your grandma and see if she wants to come over for dinner.”

Ten minutes later, Catie was sitting in the other room, chattering away happily with her grandma.

Declan returned to the kitchen somewhat sheepishly, his hands in his pockets.

“I know you prefer telling the kids the truth, but the thing about Seamus…” He trailed off, keeping his voice low and quiet.

I nodded. I personally thought Catie should know about her biological dad. But that wasn’t my decision to make, and blurting it out in the middle of Declan’s kitchen while Catie’s mom was an ocean away seemed like a mildly traumatizing way to handle the situation.

Maybe Declan was rubbing off on me.

Or maybe he was used to living with darker secrets than I was.

“I am sorry,” I said softly. “For not being open with you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you either,” he said. “Trust me, that was the last thing I wanted.” It wasn’t exactly an apology, but his voice was broken enough that I knew how badly he meant those words.

“Going forward we can…” I said at the same time he said, “Maybe we should…”

We laughed weakly. But it was something. “Go ahead,” I said. “What were you going to say?”

Declan closed his eyes briefly, like even he didn’t like what he was about to say. “Maybe we should take a break from…from being anything more than two people working together to care for a child. Maybe we should focus on looking after Catie and figuring out what we both want going forward.”

I felt like he’d knocked the wind out of me. I eased backward, gripping the counter for support.

“I promised you something light and fun. Not…this mess,” he said.

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