Page 65 of The Bossy One

Over at the festival, the kids would be leaving, and the adults would be cranking up the music, lighting the alcohol, and bringing out the whiskey.

The thought of Olivia dancing around a bonfire with some drunken lout was like acid churning in my stomach.

Anil’s advice might have been right in most cases, but not this one. I wasn’t going to betray my father’s memory just because a pretty American asked me to.

I was right about this, and that was what mattered.

Wasn’t it?

“You can go have the strawberry shortcake,” I told Catie. “It’s got fruit, so it’s healthy.”

She perked up and left the room.

I needed to talk to someone who would understand. Anil and Olivia hadn’t known my da. They didn’t get it. So I called my mum and told her the whole story, minus the part about my dating Olivia. “I can’t believe she’d even ask me to go. It’s disrespectful. And insulting.”

She sighed. “Oh Declan. Don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh, love?”

I stared at my phone in shock. “Mum, none ofyourfriends would expect you to go.”

“They didn’t expect it, no,” Mum allowed. “But they always invited me, so that I knew I was welcome, whenever I was ready. You know my friend Moe works for Mark—she runs the party every year. And a few years ago, I realized I was ready. So I started going again.”

“What?” I barked. I tried to lower my voice, not wanting her to think I was shouting at her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Darling, you can be a wee bit huffy when you think you’re right,” she said gently. “I love you. But you’re my son, not my keeper. I won’t have you trying to control my life the way you do with Sinead.”

I sat down in my office chair, feeling like the world wasn’t as steady under me as I’d thought. “I don’t…I don’t control her, Mum. If I could, she wouldn’t live across a bloody ocean.”

“That’swhyshe lives across a bloody ocean,” Mum corrected me. “Remember her first boyfriend, back in secondary school? You kept pointing out he was horrid until she dumped him.”

“Hewashorrid,” I protested.

“What about the daycare she wanted to send Catie to? You pressured her into sending Catie to a fancier one because you were paying for it,” she reminded me.

“Not fancier,” I said, defending myself. “Better. Shouldn’t Catie have the best?”

Mum sighed. “I’m not saying you’re entirely wrong, Declan. I’ll never forgive Mark O’Rourke. Ever. If I hadn’t had you two to care for, I might have killed him myself after the accident, for taking your da from me.”

My gut twisted. There was something in her voice that made me think she wasn’t exaggerating.

Unbidden, I thought how I would feel if a drunk driver killed Olivia. I’d murder the fucker with my bare hands.

“But I realized that wasn’t what your da would have wanted,” Mum said. “And he wouldn’t want you missing out on something good for his sake.”

“The festival’s not that good,” I grumbled.

“I’m not talking about the festival,” Mum said evenly, and I realized she’d seen more in my initial explanation than I’d wanted to admit. “Would you rather sit home, nursing an old wound? Or would you rather go to that lonely, beautiful girl who’s waiting for you?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. I tried again. “How do you know she’s lonely?”

“The same way I know you are,” Mum said.

I thought of how happy Olivia had looked when she’d asked me to go with her. And how quickly I’d snuffed out her happiness with my own pain. I didn’t want that for her. I didn’t want that forme, either.

Maybe I could put a pause on my feud with the O’Rourkes for one night, if it made her happy.

It was a little scary to realize how badly I wanted to make her happy. It was an instinct that felt so deep and true that it was a part of me, like the way a bird justknowswhich way to fly. Somewhere along the line, Olivia had started to feel like my map. Her opinions my due north.

The problem was, I had no idea where she was leading me.

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