Page 29 of The Bossy One

Sometimes I hated my job too. Especially walking away from kids who needed me.

I tried not to think about Declan or Catie as I walked the fifteen minutes to the bus stop, dragging my suitcase behind me. The day was warm enough I found myself working up a sweat. When I got to the bus stop, I could feel my T-shirt sticking to my back.

I scooped my hair into a messy bun to get it off my neck and checked the bus schedule on my phone.

The next bus didn’t come for an hour and a half.

Shit, I thought. And then, since no one was around, I let myself say it out loud for good measure. “Shit.”

Cursing was something I rarely did, since there was almost always a child around who might overhear and repeat it later. But I didn’t have to worry about that anymore since, thanks to Declan, my nannying career was in the toilet. “Damn. Hell. Shit.” I kicked the side of the bus stop, which made my eyes sting. “THIS SUCKS,” I hollered to the sky.

An old woman in the house across the street peeked out from behind her curtains with a scandalized look.

I covered my mouth, regretting my outburst. I gave a cringy, apologetic wave. She must have decided not to worry about it, because she let the curtains drop and retreated back into her house.

I sank down onto the bus stop bench, feeling suddenly exhausted. I tried so hard with this job. And now here I was, where I always was.

Alone.

Fighting off the feeling, I sent an impulsive message to @DBCoder.You don’t live in Dublin by any chance, do you?

As soon as I sent it, I regretted it. I had a hard policy against meeting anyone I met through my blog in real life. The one time it had happened, it hadn’t been my choice, and it had gone badly enough I’d swore never to repeat the experience. No matter how lonely I might feel right now.

Forget I said that. It’s just a crappy day.

Crappy was an understatement.

Any chance you can talk right now? I really need to get out of my own head. I’ll even let you nerd out about that famous conman you like, the one who stole the airplane.

Nothing.

I stared at my phone for a while, before I admitted to myself @DBCoder probably wasn’t on Snug right now. Or if he was, he was tied up with something that was keeping him from responding.

There were other people I could message. Friends back home. The mom from the first family I’d ever nannied for, who loved me like a daughter and still reached out every few months to make sure I was doing okay.

But if I called someone I knew in real life, I’d have to explain the mess my own life had become. They’d want to offer suggestions, advice. With @DBCoder I could just vent and know that I’d get comfort and commiseration in return. I wanted to talk with him, or no one at all.

So I popped in my headphones, blasted my Zen playlist, and repeated the mantras I’d been using since college.

Life is change.

It’s okay to let go. It means you can live in the moment and increase the next good thing.

Unfortunately right now, it was hard to believe anything good was coming my way.

9

DECLAN

Five minutes into my video interview with Ava Chase, I felt immensely confident in my choice to get rid of Olivia.

Ava was polished, prompt, and professional. We were on the same page about everything, from the importance of letting kids relax and enjoy their summer holiday, to the importance of shielding children from difficult adult subjects.

I smiled at the pretty woman on my screen. She wasn’t quite as friendly as Olivia, but I honestly liked that. Ava felt like what she was going to be—an employee who understood where the lines were drawn. She would be a lot more peaceful to live with than Olivia had been.

Fifteen minutes into the interview, I was running out of reasons not to hire her on the spot. She was perfect. Honestly, it was hard to believe that she shared so many similarities with Olivia.

Left-handed. Loved purple. Loved Olivia’s favorite picture book.

---