Page 6 of Mine To Possess

I’m too shocked and distressed to say anything. I can’t bring myself to even look at Mom, but I shrug my shoulders. I want them out of my room, and I think this might be the only way to do it.

“Fine,” Mom says in a hard voice. “Stay in your room and take a moment to think about how you could have broken our little family up. And don’t come out until you’re ready to take responsibility for your actions and apologize to Dan.”

“And to your mom,” Dan adds. “You’ve caused her a lot of stress over these last few months, but you really outdid yourself this time.”

Mom leaves the room, and Dan follows her. On his best behavior now. He closes my door quietly behind him. I stare at the old wooden door.

I want nothing more than to lay on my bed face down and sob my heart out. How could my mom take his side? Turning a blind eye to his drinking and his temper is one thing, but this? He was going to rape me. Does she really think so little of me that she believes I tried to steal Dan from her? Even if I did flirt with him, which I would never do. Not just because he disgusts me, but also out of principle, how could she accept him back after this? She obviously doesn’t think much of Dan either. She obviously thinks he’s too weak to say no to anyone who flashes him a come-on.

I take a deep breath. No, I won’t give myself the luxury of wallowing in self-pity.

I have to get out of here. Right now. I don’t know where I’ll go or what I’ll do, but nothing can be as bad as this. I stand up and go to my tiny closet. I pull out a duffle bag and throw in some clothes and my makeup bag. Then I slide in my laptop and my cell phone charger. I move to the bedroom door and stand listening. I can hear Mom and Dan talking in the living room. If I’m quiet, I can get to the bathroom and back without them noticing.

I sneak to the bathroom and grab my toothbrush, half a tube of toothpaste, my deodorant, a razor and a bottle of shampoo. It’ll have to do. I sneak back to my bedroom and pull a brush through my hair. I toss it into the bag with some underwear and a couple sets of light clothing and zip it up.

Then I open the tiny secret drawer in my trinket box and fish out the small amount of money I’ve managed to save. I count it. I have a grand total of one hundred and twenty-two dollars and fifty-three cents. It’s not going to do much for me, but I’m going to have to make this work. I put the money in my pocket and straighten up. I pick up the duffle bag, take a deep breath and leave my bedroom for the last time. I make my way down the hallway to the kitchen. My mom hears me and looks up. She nudges Dan and they both sit looking at me. Dan is now bleary eyed and holding a bottle of rum. He takes a swig as he looks at me.

“Well?” my mom prompts. “Are you ready to apologize?”

“Yes,” I say. “Dan, I’m sorry you’re a fucking rapist who blames everyone around him for his actions.” Then I look at my mom and I can’t stop the tears that flow quickly down my face. My heart is so full of sadness my chest feels tight. “Mom, I’m genuinely sorry you think this is the life you deserve because you’re too good for this. Never forget, I love you and I always will.”

Then I turn and leave the trailer, leaving Mom and Dan staring after me with open mouths. I’ve officially burnt my last bridge, but that’s alright. I’d sooner die on the streets than apologize to Dan.

I dash away the tears and make a promise. “One day, when I have(I’ve) made my fortune, I’ll come back for you, Mom. I swear it.”

The dusty road in front of me is empty so there are no witnesses to my forlorn whisper, but it’s a promise I won’t break.

4

AMELIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcjzHMhBtf0

-just a small time girl-

I’ve been desperately walking the streets since I left three hours ago and I’m no closer to finding a job than I was at Dan’s hell hole.

I’ve literally walked into any business I’ve passed that looks even remotely like they might need staff and practically begged them for work, but it’s the same old story everywhere. They’re either not hiring, or they tell me to send in my resume. I feel like curling up in the gutter and crying my burning eyes out…

But I won’t do that. Or go back to the trailer.

I’ll make it or I’ll die trying.

To start with I’ve discovered the tiny amount of money I have will pay for two nights in a cheap motel, but I have no intention of using it up like that. I try to think where I can go.

Lucy’s place is out of the question. Her parents are super strict about having people staying over. I know if I tell her mom what happened, she will let me stay, but knowing her she’ll also probably want to call the cops and social services and God knows who else. I don’t want that.

I don’t want anybody thinking ill of my mother. No matter what, she ismymother and I’ll never betray her.

I don’t really have any other close friends. Sure, I have a few acquaintances, girls I hang out with now and again, but I can’t just turn up at their doorstep and ask them to house me until I sort my shit out.

I had colleagues at work and did get quite close to some of them. I guess Jason might put me up for the night, but the truth is I really don’t know him well enough to lay my problems on him. He might even have a girlfriend by now and me staying at his will go down like a lead balloon with her. The more I think about it, the more I shake off the idea. I’ve been ghetto Amelia and trailer trash Amelia for too long. I’m not going to let myself become slutty Amelia or seductress Amelia.

No, I’m on my own with this one.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts as a door of The Pink Flamingo opens to the side of me and a drunken man stumbles out, almost falling on top of me. He gives me a lopsided grin and I shrink back, but he just stumbles along on his way. I have to stop thinking everyone is like Dan. Just before the door closes shut, I see the inside of it. Dimly lit with wooden floors.

I scrunch my forehead. It is the biggest dive around here. Always full of people drinking too much too early. And fights like you wouldn’t believe. But I can’t help but look again at the sign taped to the door.

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