Page 60 of Aidan

Everybody filters out of the room. I’m almost to the door when Da’s voice stops me. “You. Stay.”

Slowly I pivot.

“Have a seat.” He gestures to the chair Cian just vacated.

With a sigh, I settle back in. I’m not in the mood for a goddamn lecture. I just want to find my wife and fix this thing between us. Da sits down as well and leans his forearms on the desk top.

“I know I said this already, but I’m sorry I wasn’t vigilant enough in watching Naji and his people. The blame for that lies solely on my shoulders. It’s been a lot of years since we’ve been at war with our enemies. Not since before I was your age. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to always be watching my back. How we can never let our guards down. Not even for a second.” Fatigue mars Da’s face. He appears to have aged overnight.

“As much as it pains me to admit, it was always going to happen, whether it was Naji or Campbell. At least we have Imogen to thank. By the way, is she okay? My main concern has been Sorcha and the kids.”

He nods solemnly. “She’s shaken up, of course. But I think she’s more worried about Liam than herself. As much as I wish it weren’t so, he loves her. If they’d hurt her in any way, Campbell would have razed the entire city to the ground and tried to single-handedly destroy the Moroccans.”

Psychopath.Wouldn’t you do the same if it were Sorcha? Perhaps I shouldn’t judge him too harshly when it comes to protecting my sister.

“Being a part of our family—our organization—is dangerous. But we’ve grown up surrounded by this. We understand how it all works as well as the consequences. I taught you boys from birth. Sorcha has only been part of your real life for less than a month. It’s no wonder she’s scared and angry.” Da sits back and his posture softens. “Go find your wife. I’m sure she needs you.”

“Thanks, Da. For everything.” I exit his office and head for our wing. She may need me, but I need her more.

CHAPTER30

Sorcha

There’sa faint knock on the door. Worried it might be either Kellen or Carson needing me, I quickly climb out of the bed, careful not to disturb Aisling. I crack it open only to find Aidan. My heart skips a beat and then races like it always does when I’m in his presence. But then I recall the way it raced in fear earlier.

“Hi,” he greets me in a whisper.

“Hi.”

“Will you talk to me now?” There’s a hint of hope in the question.

“I don’t want to leave Aisling, in case she wakes up scared.” While true, it’s also an excuse.

“Please?”

It’s that single word that weakens me. I can probably count on one hand the number of times Aidan has ever said please. I glance over my shoulder. Aisling is sound asleep. We’re just a hallway over. If she cries out, I’ll come rushing. God, I’m weak. I sigh and open the door wide enough to slide through and then pull it almost closed, but keep it cracked enough that I won’t miss any sounds that she might need me.

Side-by-side, Aidan and I walk back to our room. I’m glad he doesn’t try and touch me. I’m not sure what I’ll do if he does. He gestures for me to enter first. I move past him, trying not to breathe in his fresh woodsy scent, and stand in the center of the room with my arms wrapped protectively around my waist.

He closes the door, but doesn’t shut it all the way, and pivots to face me. “How’s your head and your leg feeling?”

“They both fucking hurt.” Although my head isn’t pounding like it had been earlier, but I keep the fact to myself. I have a twinge of guilt for twisting the knife a little deeper, especially when Aidan’s face fills with worry.

“I’m sorry. So fucking sorry,” he rasps out in another harsh whisper, taking a step forward like he’s going to reach for me but stops himself. “I’m sorry for everything. For lying to you all these years. For forcing you into this marriage. For not fully warning you about what this life entails. But most of all, I’m sorry I put not only you, but our children, in danger.”

My heart nearly stops beating altogether. The one and only time Aidan has ever said he’s sorry was when he confessed his identity. He’s said please more times than he’s ever apologized. But I can’t let go of the fact he called Kellen, Carson, and Aisling our kids. It doesn’t matter that I’m their sister. I’m the only mom they have and I love them like they’re mine.

“I’m sorry, too.”

As much as I want to blame Aidan, I also have to blame myself. It isn’t as though him being a member of the mafia had been a secret when we got married. Didn’t I watch a news clip of him being arrested for possessing weapons and attempting to break into Liam’s house? I’d been not naive, but willfully ignorant. My judgment has been clouded by my feelings for him.

He reaches for me, but I take a step back. His hand drops to his side and pain flashes in his eyes.

“I love you, Aidan. I do. But I need more time to process all of this. I don’t know if I can be who you want me to be.”

“I don’t want you to be anyone else,” he says. “I fell in love with this Sorcha, not some imagined version of you.”

My arms tighten around my waist. “The Sorcha you think you love wants to take my children and run far, far away. She doesn’t want them to have anything to do with gun fights and wars.”

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