Page 32 of Aidan

There’s nothing I need to do for Da. It had merely been an excuse to get away and try to make things less awkward between us. Even if we survive this marriage with our friendship intact, I’m not sure it will ever be the same. For some reason, I’m finding it hard to breathe. I walk out of the room and head anywhere but here.

Of course, I wind up outside Da’s office. The door is slightly ajar and the light’s on. “It’s kind of late for you to be working isn’t it? You should be enjoying your evening with Nora.”

He glances up and waves me in. “I’m almost finished here and then we were going to read together before bed.”

“You reading anything good?” I sit in the chair opposite him.

“Dry, boring stuff about the growth of agriculture in Ireland that you would have zero interest in.” He smirks.

“You’re right. I’m falling asleep just thinking about it.”

“So tell me why you’re sitting in here with me instead of with your fiancée? Not that I don’t appreciate the company, but Sorcha’s much prettier to look at than I am,” Da jokes.

“I think I fucked up.”

He leans back. “How so?”

“I thought I was doing the right thing. Protecting Sorcha. Saying she was my fiancée seemed like a simple solution. Then Campbell called my bluff. Now, she’s moved in here and we’re actually getting married. I didn’t plan on it being more than on paper. A front to placate Liam’s demand. But nothing about this is simple.”

“Loving someone never is.”

My heart skips a beat and panic rises in my chest. “Sorcha and I are just friends. I don’t love her. Not like that.”

Da stares quietly at me, his gaze assessing. Then he closes the folder he’d been reading from, stands, and rounds his desk to stand in front of me. “Of all you boys, you have always been my most stubborn. If you didn’t want to do something, you wouldn’t do it. No matter how much you’re threatened or coaxed. Nothing could ever make you do something you didn’t already want to do.”

He clasps me on the shoulder and walks out of his office. I sit there for several more minutes replaying his words. No, he’s wrong. I’ve never had any plans to marry. I’m not like Cian who, until Nessa, would have married if for nothing more than to produce a few heirs. Or Finn, who has admitted he wants to find a nice woman to settle down with at some point. But only once he’s done fucking his way through every former floor girl who used to work at the casino.

Marriage has never been for me. Love,especially, has never been for me. I’ve seen what love does to a person, and I want nothing to do with it. Yes, I care about Sorcha, and if I could love anyone, it would be her.

I make my way back to my bedroom.She’s already in bed, lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. She glances over at me. At least she’s not pretending to be asleep.

“Did you get done whatever you needed to do?”

“I did.”

“Good.”

We stare at each other for several awkward seconds, neither of us breaking the silence. Finally, I head for the bathroom. I brush my teeth and strip down to my boxer briefs. Maybe I should have grabbed a pair of lounging pants from my dresser, but it’s too late for that. Besides, Sorcha and I are getting married. We’re going to have to get used to seeing each other without clothes.

Instantly, images of her naked filter through my head. Not for the first time, either. She’s a beautiful woman with the perfect amount of curves. I’ve imagined Sorcha naked more than once, especially during the early days of our friendship before I decided it wasn’t worth fucking up by sleeping with her. Soon though, we’ll be married and she’ll be in my bed every single night. Available. Gorgeous. And my wife.

I meet my reflection in the mirror.You’re really going to do this, aren’t you? Her request plays in my head again.

“Don’t completely rule out the possibility of falling in love with me.”

Before I left Da’s office, I’d already decided I’m in this for real. I’m just not sure I can do the only thing she asked me to do for her.

CHAPTER16

Sorcha

I’m notsure I got more than a few hours of sporadic sleep the entire night. More than once I found myself plastered to Aidan’s side, but quickly moved away each time, praying he stayed asleep. I woke up a short time ago, only to discover he’d already left. I’ve been lying here alone since.You’re feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe I am. The stress of the last month hasn’t made it any easier.

There’s a soft knock on the door.

“Sorcha, can I come in?” Aisling’s voice filters through it.

“Of course,” I call out.

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