Page 72 of The Comeback Tour

I haven’t even given this girl an afterthought since I ended things. She didn’t try to contact me, and I didn’t contact her. It was a clean break, or so I thought. But it turns out the break wasn’t our relationship.

Now, I’m paying the price. I’ve lost the love of my life. Cailin won’t even give me a chance to explain. I saw the tears in her eyes and my heart sank, knowing I caused that pain. I told her I would never break her heart. I told her I would never do anything to make her cry. I would rather die than to have to think of going through life without her now that I’ve found her. And look at the pain I caused Cailin.

She fled the plane so quickly she left her suitcase. I tried to run after her, but I couldn’t catch up. Part of me wanted to get a car and go chase after her. Start a search party or something. But I don’t want to draw attention to what happened. I need to give her space while I get to the bottom of this. And then I need to get Cailin back.

By the time I get back to the buses, everyone has seen the headline. I have a pretty perceptive crew and they all know how to read my mood. No one is going to mess with me. No one, except Harry, that is.

He knocks on the door of my bus. “Jax, let me in to talk.”

I don’t answer.

“Okay, I’m coming in,” Harry announces before he opens the door.

“I messed up, Harry. I don’t even know if it’s true. But it could be. And now everything is ruined. Hayley and Jayce’s spur of the moment wedding inspired me to do something special for Cailin, so that’s why I asked you to get the jet. This whole tour, we’ve been on buses because I’ve wanted to keep it real. But the reality is I’m not a backstreet boy next door. I can offer her more than she’s had before. I wanted her to enjoy the perks of dating a pop star. It turns out that we got a night to remember, but now it’s one I’d rather forget.”

Harry, ever the voice of reason says, “Let’s take things from the beginning and work with what we have. First of all, the media didn’t name the source that came forward.”

“No name, but there was a woman. It’s only a matter of time before she contacts me.”

“And if she comes forward, then we do a DNA test. We can court order one before the baby is born to prove whether or not you’re the father.”

That gives me a plan, but it doesn’t solve the fact that I lost Cailin. “And what happens in the meantime? I can’t expect Cailin to sit around waiting for me. She’s done with me. You should have seen the way she ran off.”

“If she loves you, which I am more than sure she does, she will give you a chance to explain.” Harry pats my back. I know he wants to be here for me right now, but I made this mess on my own.

“As long as she loves me, she isn’t going to stand by while I have a baby with another woman. I never thought I’d become a dad with a woman I don’t love. I guess I deserve this after my reckless past.” I’m so angry with myself, I couldn’t cry even if I was alone with no witnesses.

“I’ll give Marisol a call and see if she spoke to Cailin. Or we can ask Hayley.”

“No, don’t. The less people involved, the better. I want to request that everyone give Cailin space. No one reaches out to her. The last thing I need is anyone feeding her information from my past or adding to her negative thoughts.”

“Ok, I’ll send a memo out. We’re going to fix this, Jax. We’re going to get through it.”

“Easy for you to say. Your life isn’t falling apart. And you don’t have to get up on stage and perform a show tonight. Do you know how I feel? How am I going to get up there and sing love songs after what just happened? Everyone is going to be looking at me and hate me for breaking Cailin’s heart. I just went public about how much I love her. I look like such scum now. I’m lucky if people even show up tonight.”

“We can’t cancel the rest of the tour. We only have a few dates left.”

“I’ll pull myself together,” I tell Harry. “But cancel all the fan events tonight. No interviews either. Oh, and who is going to manage press now? I’ve not only lost my girlfriend, but also my publicist. My life is officially a mess.”

“I’ll handle the press,” Harry says. “You get yourself together. The show must go on.”

Then I remember. I have Cailin’s things here. I can write her a note. She’s blocking my calls and social media, but she can’t block deliveries to her door.

Trash the Dress Online Chat

Sara:I used to think divorce was a terrible word, but now I see it as a new beginning.

Cora:Let’s start a national campaign for divorce.

39

CAILIN MCCALL CHECKS “SAVE A LIFE” OFF POST-DIVORCE GOALS

CAILIN

I miss wakingup as the little spoon, with Jax’s body wrapped around me. I miss the feel of his scruff on my back as he rests against me under the sheets. I yearn to kiss him good morning or feel his touch just one more time. I feel like I lost my center of gravity. Now I’m just floating through the world, aimlessly. I’m torn like Natalie Imbruglia.

Then it hits me. I don’t have to go through this alone. Sure, I have my mom and Gemma, who are always there for me. But what I need is someone who is literally always going to be by my side. Someone who will love me unconditionally, no matter what.

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