Page 38 of The Comeback Tour

Now I’ve goneand done it. But I don’t regret it, I decide as I walk through the venue for the night’s show. The cement-floored hallway is lined with framed posters of other impressive acts who have played this stage. The air-conditioning is cranking, but nothing can cool me down.

I had to kiss Cailin. Being so close to her and not touching her was torture. She literally fell into my arms and the moment that followed was just right. I’ve kissed hundreds of women, but no one has made me feel as intense as Cailin.

As I get to my dressing room and begin to stretch my legs, I tell myself that I would not have even cared if someone walked by and saw us, because I needed to feel her against me. Now, I have to get through the rest of the night and pretend it didn’t happen. I need to stop thinking with my emotions and get my head on straight.

There are a lot of members of the press coming tonight and I have a lot of interviews. It’s been years since I’ve spoken to the media. This is also the first time I’m doing interviews alone. No pressure. Yeah, right. I’m totally stressing out right now. I feel all my doubt creeping back. I tell myself an affirmation: “I’m capable and prepared. I can do this.” I have to. It’s too late to run back now. I do a set of jumping jacks, and head into the press room. Fresh bait for the sharks.

* * *

CAILIN

The interviews come one after the other and Jax charms everyone with his charisma. I talk to each media outlet and make notes on which reporters and hosts I need to follow on their social profiles. Everyone seems super impressed with the new album. A few ask me to take their photo with Jax, but I don’t mind playing photographer. It gives me another excuse to stare at him without suspicion.

Harry is with us during the interviews and then suggests that Jax head over to meet guests backstage. A woman catches my eye. She has long, straight, platinum blonde hair and is dressed in demure tones, down to her boots. She looks effortlessly cool. There’s no doubt who she is: Brenda.

Brenda, who is talking to Chris, notices Jax enter the room and abruptly leaves Chris hanging mid-sentence. She darts in his direction and corners Jax before anyone else has the chance to get within his orbit.

“Jax.” Brenda kisses his cheek. The same cheek I had my hands on just a few hours ago. It’s tainted now. “So happy to see you back on tour. I’ve missed seeing your face.”

Jax gives her a hug and thanks her for the compliments. Brenda throws back her head and laughs a little too hard. “Want to do a shot?”

“No, thanks. I have some fans to greet, if you’ll excuse me.”

“I’ll take a rain check,” Brenda says.

I can see her eyes watch him walk away and she’s loving every second. I want to tell Brenda that she’s never going to cash in that rain check because whatever fling they had before is over. But I don’t really know what happened between them. And I don’t really know if what’s happening between me and Jax is more than a fling. So, I do what I would normally do if I was at a client event. I walk up and introduce myself.

“Hi, I’m Cailin,” I say. I extend my hand to Brenda. “Jax’s tour publicist.”

Brenda drops her guard. She clearly wants to get in good with me. “Lovely to meet you, Cailin. I’m Brenda, an old friend of Chris and the band. And Jax, of course.”

“That’s really nice of you to come out and support Jax on his solo tour.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Brenda says. She flips her hair.

I don’t doubt it. She was probably counting down the days until she had an excuse to see him in person and maybe try to rekindle whatever went on between them the last time she saw Jax.

“Well, do let me know if you need anything further. You can put all future requests for shows through me. Chris can give you my information. Will you be coming out to any others?” And by that I mean, please don’t come to another show, thanks.

“Great to know. Carlos usually hooks me up.” She’s getting tense.

“Carlos and I work closely, but he’s not on this account right now, so please feel free to reach out.” I strategically toss my hair off my shoulder.

“Will do. I always have a good time with Jax. Maybe I’ll take you up on your offer.”

“If there are any more LA shows. Which right now, there are not.”

“I’m down to travel if there’s a party.” Brenda winks at me.

“It was nice meeting you, Brenda.”

“Nice meeting you, Caitlin.” She stresses the letter ‘t.’

“Cailin,” I correct her before I walk away. I scan the room for celebrity guests to make sure everyone is accommodated, but it doesn’t look like any have arrived yet. They probably come late to skip the opening acts. On this tour, the opening act is a young female pop star who recently had a Number One song. I see her standing in the corner talking to one of the reporters who spoke with Jax earlier. I can’t imagine being a sixteen-year-old pop star, let alone going on tour with Jax Slater. She’s one lucky kid. Her mom is never far from her side, which tells me her family wants to make sure fame doesn’t get the best of her.

Jax is doing his thing, making sure he thanks everyone for coming, and obliging to every selfie request. Our eyes meet for a brief moment and he flashes me his perfectly straight, professionally whitened teeth. I don’t mind letting everyone have their time with him. Just Brenda. I scan the room and see she’s having a drink with Chris. Looks like she’s good and occupied.

I grab a sandwich and a bottle of water and sit down by myself to eat before the show starts. As I take a bite and begin to chew, I see Hayley come in and give her a wave. She waves back, grabs some grub, and makes her way to me.

---