Page 2 of The Comeback Tour

“My old diaries about our love for 5 Leo Hearts. Remember how we went to every concert hoping to meet them and seriously thought we stood a chance among their millions of fans? I was going to marry Jax and you were going to marry Ridge.”

“It was a solid plan,” Gemma says. “Your bedroom was wallpapered with posters of Jax—though I don’t know how you could prefer the rebel over Ridge. Gah! Ridge was such a heartthrob. And if we married cousins, then we would have been officially related.”

Ahh, to be so young and naive. As if 5 Leo Hearts—named after the members’ shared astrological sign, with each of their birthdays falling between July 23rd and August 22nd—would fall for normal girls, while they topped every music chart and performed on the biggest stages across the world.

“Hey now, my results from that teen magazine quiz even confirmed that Jax is my dream guy,” I say.

“Can you believe you married the exact opposite of your dream guy?” Gemma, on the other hand, married Mark, who is a bread-winning husband. He even comes home every night and caters to her needs, whether she stayed home or took their daughter, Stella, to work at the boutique she owns, and had the nanny watch her in the backroom nursery.

“Ok, Gemma. Way to dig it in. I know Collin wasn’t exactly good for me, but we did have some good times.”

“Cailin, are we talking about the same guy? The one who refused to buy you flowers on Valentine’s Day or on your anniversary because they die?”

“In hindsight, I should have seen the red flags.”

“I told you to never trust a man who waxes his eyebrows,” Gemma says.

Ok, so maybe I was a bit blinded by Collin’s dark eyes, perfectly tanned skin, and ambition. I watched every day as he got dressed in expensive clothes and a designer watch, just to sit on the couch and check his phone to see if any investors responded to his emails. Collin captivated me—and everyone else who falls for well-groomed men over six feet tall. Back then, I felt like I won the boyfriend lottery, but in reality, I only scratched the surface to learn that nothing matched up.

“Lesson learned.”

“So, how’s it going packing for the move? Is he even coming to help you?”

Gemma can’t see me roll my eyes. “Of course not. He sent professional movers for all his things to ensure they were handled with care.”

“Darn, I was hoping he would leave those white sneakers he cleaned every night so we could burn them in a bonfire.” Gemma lets out a loud sigh, as if someone just told her that her favorite designer sold out of a virtual sample sale before she had a chance to log online. “We’ll have to celebrate another way.”

“Once I’m back, we’ll have plenty of time to hang out. I’m gonna hang up now and force myself to finish sorting through this mess.”

“Good luck, love you.”

“Love you, too.”

The box of diaries is going against my “keeper” wall. Reading that journal entry reminded me that I possessed limitless imagination. It was a nice detour, but my real destination, I remind myself, is my new apartment. I take a gulp of coffee, pull up the puffy sleeves of my sweatshirt, and get down to business. I have a few hours to compress my life and get through this task. I have to close the door on this era of Cailin. The version of me that lost track of her thirst for life and settled for the familiar. The one who compromised to avoid change and still found herself in upheaval.

I was served lessons that can’t be taught while growing up. No one tells you that people will be brought into your life and then removed once the universe decides you deserve more. That you’ll wonder why you had to go through it at all. Or why you worked so many years in a job just because it paid well, when all the while, it left you unfulfilled and you end up getting fired.

Tomorrow, I will be a new version of myself. Cailin 2.0. Get me a cute pair of combat boots because I’m about to kick some butt.

Sure, I’m going back to my hometown. But I have to stop viewing this as a failure or some big mistake. I will not let anyone look at me like I have the scarlet letter, “D” on my forehead. I will own my divorce. And I will claim what’s mine.

Trash the Dress Online Chat

Cailin:Hi. I’m Cailin. Thanks for the add. I just signed my divorce papers and it’s so weird. I’m ready to move on—my divorce was mutual—but a part of me still feels empty. Like something is missing in my life. Maybe it’s because I also just lost my job. Hoping to connect to others who can relate. Anyone else comparing your life to reels right now?

Mae:Welcome to the other side. I’m still working through my divorce, but this group has been a lifesaver!

Tori:Another marriage bites the dust! Just kidding.

Noreen:@Tori! I will apologize for you. Please ignore her @Cailin. She’s getting over her first post-divorce breakup and starting to doubt love again.

Cora:So nice to meet you @Cailin!

Alexandra:@Cora where have you been!? We were worried because you haven’t posted in a few days.

Cora:@Alexandra Didn’t mean to worry anyone. I didn’t have power to charge my phone for a few days but I’m OK now.

Alexandra:@Cora Does that mean you finally left him?

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