Page 34 of Bella And Her Secret Crush

"If you're not in love with her, and you truly don't want to be with her, then you need to stop acting like a territorial boyfriend to Belle. And stop making her feel like she can't be with Zach. And, you need to especially stop acting that way when Tiffany is around you and Belle, because all you're communicating to her is that you're using her to distract you from your feelings for Belle." Mandy leaned across the table, nearly getting nose to nose with me as she lectured.

"I don't have feelings like that for Belle! I told you guys, I'm her best friend, and nothing is going to change that. I'm dating Tiffany, and I can't help that I think Zach is a prick." I leaned back, huffing in annoyance.

"The truth is in your actions, Landon. So either align your actions with the truth, or accept that your actions are displaying the truth so obviously for everyone else to see," Mandy finished, standing from the table. "But until you can get the two lined out and figure out what you want, you're just going to make everyone around you uncomfortable and miserable."

And then all of my friends stood with her and left. Yeah, I got sympathetic looks from Cooper and Andrew, but I could also see their agreement with Mandy in their eyes.

What made it all the more agonizing and frustrating for me was that everything that Mandy had said was right.

So I either needed to learn how to change my truth—that I actually hated seeing Belle with any other guy, not just Zach—or I needed to accept the truth and move forward. Needed to tell Belle how I felt and end things with Tiffany.

But I knew that I was too much of a coward to ever admit how I really felt.

23

Isabella

Lifewasweird.Andso is everyone in my life.

"Babe, don't you think the skirts you wear to work should be longer?" Zach asked, picking me up from my house to drive me to work. It was something we did nearly every day so that we could spend more time together.

I looked down at my skirt, which came a little lower than mid-thigh. It was actually a skort, not that that really mattered. But I saw nothing wrong with it.

"No, I think this is fine. Why?" I responded, trying not to think too much about what he'd said.

"I just think you should be more conservative in what you wear to work. Especially since we're dating now. You have no reason to be dressing like that." His tone was nonchalant, but I didn't miss the way his eyes cut over to me in disapproval.

I nodded, though I knew that I wouldn't listen to a thing he said. I would continue dressing however I wanted to, regardless of what he said.

Though I knew better, I wrote his statement off as nothing more than new relationship issues. But it wasn't exactly what it was.

Since we'd been regularly dating for the past three weeks, it had grown almost painfully obvious to me that this wouldn't work out long term. But instead of ending things now to spare my feelings, I stayed with Zach. Truly, I enjoyed spending time with him, going out on dates with him, and doing adventurous things together. Eighty percent of his personality was perfect for me. The other twenty, however...

He had this controlling edge to him. And there were nearly no limits to the things he would make comments on. How I wore my hair – sometimes it would be "in his way," and he would make me put it up for his convenience. Though it was something small and nearly meaningless, it got pretty annoying stacked up with all the other little things he liked to comment on and ask me to change.

Some of the more major ones had to do with how much I worked out, what I ate, and what I wore. It started with him recommending that I get the salmon instead of the cheeseburgers at the restaurant. Then it turned into him asking me how much oil I used when I cooked and telling me that I needed to switch to clarified butter so that I would stop poisoning my body. That carried over to every time we went out to eat.

Then we would go to the gym together, and he would ask me about what I was wearing, saying that the running shorts I wore were too short, or that my tops were too tight. Typically, I let it slide off of me and not worry about it.

I knew it was toxic behavior that I should make clear to him that I wasn't okay with. Tell him that I wouldn't continue this relationship unless he stopped trying to transform me into a different person, control what I ate. But I didn't. I let him continue saying these stupid things and acted as though it wasn't a big deal, even though it definitely was.

Thankfully, I was strong enough in my own independence to not let his comments bother me too much. I knew my worth and knew that his opinions didn't change that. I also convinced myself that the positives in our relationship outweighed the annoying negatives.

He pulled over to the side of the road in front of my building, leaning across the car to kiss me. I returned it quickly and thanked him for the ride before stepping out of the car.

Walking into the building, I found myself pulling the hem of my skirt down, now concerned that it looked unprofessional.

"Long time, no see," a too-familiar voice said from behind me. I turned, seeing Landon walking into the building at the same time.

I didn't know what to say in response. We had been avoiding each other pretty much since the last time I'd attended our friend group's weekly catch-up. Since then, I went to the gym earlier than him and came home when I knew he would be gone. I'd missed all the coffee dates with our friends, apologizing to them for it, but still refusing to go.

My chest ached as I looked up at my best friend, if that was even what I could call him anymore. We were barely acquaintances at this point, with how much we avoided each other. This man who had been my ride or die in everything was now nothing more than a stranger. At least, that was what it felt like.

I laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah."

"Everything been good with you, Belle?" he asked, and I only nodded in response. "Good. Look, I'm really sorry. But I can't do this avoiding each other thing anymore. Can we talk tonight after work? Maybe watch a movie?"

I raised a brow at him, having a few angry remarks that I wanted to say about watching a movie. But I held my tongue. In reality, I didn't want to hold a grudge against Landon again. But I still couldn't help the hurt I was harboring over him dating Tiffany. Yes, part of it had to do with the fact that I was realizing that I felt more for him than simple friendship. But most of it was the fact that she was openly rude to me, as she had always been in college, and he was blind to it. Had completely forgotten about it, seemingly. Which just made it all the worse.

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