Page 14 of The Rent Just Went Up

When Mal pulls upto my apartment, part of me wants to say,Hey just kidding, I’m staying for the rest of the day!But that would be insane. So I just lean over the center console, kiss him, then get out and go inside, feeling like I’m wrapped up in a heating blanket as I take the stairs to my apartment unit.

“I’m home!” I announce as I march into the living room and throw myself down onto the couch. Normally, I’m met by aWelcome back, bitch!Or a sarcasticWho cares?from my roommate Bianca, but today, I’m met with the delightful greeting of silence.

“Hello?” I call out again. I saw her car downstairs in the parking lot, so unless her boyfriend came and picked her up (which would be strange considering he should be at work), she should be here. Finally, I hear the sound of footsteps coming from her bedroom and look up to see her come into the room looking like she’s either had a very bad morning or has something she needs to tell me—which puts a big damper onmybig story to tell for this morning.

“Go first,” I say.

“What?”

“I can tell you have something you want to tell me,” I reply. “So go first, because mine’s going to tella while.”

“Oh,” Bianca replies. She doesn’t even smile, so whatever it is, it must be bad. I’m kind of worried, to be honest. She’s not great at dealing with emotional trauma in her life. “Well, this is your thirty-day-notice.”

It takes me a second to comprehend just what it is she’s saying. But then it hits me. Thirty-day-notice. This bitch is giving me thirty days to get out of the apartment—which is technicallyherapartment as she’s the one on the lease—and find a new place to live. And to think I was just worried about howshewas doing.

“You’re kidding, right?” I ask, but I know she isn’t.

Bianca’s eyes are focused on her toes. She always was a little scaredy-cat. “Jeff proposed to me, and he wants us to live together, so…”

“So you told him he could live here with you instead of me.”

She nods. It makes sense. Jeff is a real piece of shit, who’s always getting kicked out of whatever place he’s currently living. So I guess it’s happened again, and he figures moving in with Bianca will be a lot easier than searching for a new place. And I guess that just makes me collateral damage.

“I’m sorry, Erika. I really am–”

“Yeah, I bet you are,” I reply.

8

Erika

Thirty days later…

Well,it looks like Malcom was the scum of the earth, after all. It’s been a month, and I still haven’t heard a word from him. The son of a bitch took my virginity and didn’t even call me. Chris honestly probably would have paid me more attention, even if it wasn’t genuine.

On top of that, I spent twenty-nine days looking for a place to live and came up with absolute diddly squat. It was looking more and more like I may have had to accept defeat and move home with the 'rents, which would probably be the worst thing I could do, considering how poorly our household functions when I’m a part of it. But then I met Caroline.

Unlike the other guys I’d been meeting with, who were all landlords (and quite obviously sleazy), Caroline is a realtor, representing properties she herself does not own. She showed me a couple of places out of my price range—after all, what really is there out there for a struggling waitress in this economy? But then she showed me a super cute little unit at the bottom of a big house that had been converted into smaller apartments, and it was just at the top of what I was able to pay.

“Everything’s pretty typical,” she told me as she showed me around. “Everyone else in the building has to walk to the laundry room, butyouhave your own right here in the closet.”

“That’s incredible,” I smiled, examining the washer and dryer. They looked old, but Caroline assured me they were both in great working order.

“You know how your grandmother always had an old kitchen mixer that looked like it came from the 1920s? Well, that’s these.” She smiled. “They just never seem to break down. You’ll never have issues with them. And if some freak accidentdoeshappen, well, you always have the shared units as backup.”

She continues to show me around the apartment, but I’m not really listening. I mean, I am, but I’m not really. I’ve already decided; I’m renting this place. I’m signing the lease. And it’s not just because this is thelast dayI have to get out of my old place—which has now become Bianca and Jeff’s place. I would have rented this place anyways.

Of course the fact that I’ll be homeless by tomorrow (or back living with my nightmare parents) does play a pretty big part in my decision. I’msoglad to have found this unit and to not have to go back to my folks’ house and face theirI-told-you-sosand get talked down to like a child for however long it would have taken for me to find another place to live. I don’t know if they think speaking to me that way actually helps me or whether they’re just assholes, and at this point in my life, I don’t particularly care to figure it out.

“Well, I’ll take it!” I say enthusiastically to Caroline. “Where do I sign?”

Caroline smiles, but I notice a hint of…something in her eyes. “Well, there’s alittlesomething we have to do before I can have you sign the lease.”Oh God. I knew it was too good to be true.“It’s nothing major! But the landlord likes to meet every new tenant before leasing. Just for a quick one-on-one. It should only take about five minutes.”

“Oh…” I say slowly. “For like a blitz chess game or something?”

Caroline laughs. “No, no. He just wants to know everyone who will be living in his building.”

“He doesn’t trust you? Isn’t that what your job is? To find tenants?”

---