Page 37 of Cruel Hate

My phone vibrated, and I checked, finding a notice that my ride was there. I hurried to get into my driver’s red Corolla, gave him the dorm address, and rested against the leather seat.

When I returned to my room, I changed, shut off the light, and crawled into bed.

There was noise in the hallways, given that it was the weekend. I grabbed my phone. pulled up the white noise app, and selected ocean sounds. My eyes drifted shut as the soothing rhythmic back and forth of rolling waves filled the dark space. I snuggled deeper under the covers, trying to push all thoughts of Phoenix away, but I couldn’t stop thinking about our time at the cove. Coupled with how he’d kissed me tonight and watching him fight, there was no way I could exorcise him from my mind.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

PHOENIX

Ilost track of Aspen when I stepped out of the ring. Damon clapped me on the back, and a rush of adrenaline surged through me. I was still pumped from the fight. It wasn’t a good idea to go find her. Not yet. I needed to calm down some.

“Man, I shouldn’t have doubted you, but the size of that guy.” Damon whistled. “Fucking fantastic match.”

“Thanks.” It bothered me that Cole and Shane weren’t there. Cole had stepped away from the fights—they were a risk to both college and career, and I probably should have followed his lead, but that wasn’t an option for me to stop right now. I had enough for school, but I worried about supporting more than just myself.

There were a few more fights, so I hung back with Damon. “Did you place a bet?”

Damon’s grin was wicked. “You know I did. All on you. Guess who was favored to win?”

“Not me.” I grinned. He had to have tripled his money. “Where’s Sky?” The two of them were usually glued at the hip in their free time.

“Out with Riley and Cass tonight.”

He and Sky were super tight, just like Cole and Riley were. “Does it bother you to be here? You weren’t scheduled to fight.”

“Nah. They wanted to do a girls’ night, and since Shane hasn’t been around… and Cole had to fly out of town with our dad.”

He didn’t need to say anything more. I knew that Cole getting along better with their dad still bugged him. Everything that had happened with Riley her senior year had only brought Cole and their dad closer, and I understood how Damon felt. Between Shane and me, I knew my brother would cave and let our dad in if an opportunity ever arose. Not me. The man was dead to me.

Damon and I stuck around for a while. Then he got a text from Sky saying she was headed back. We split up, he left, and I went to look for Aspen, unable to deny the possibility of seeing her any longer.

I pushed through the crowd. When people realized it was me, they tried to stop me to congratulate me on the fight. I said thanks and moved on quickly, feeling the window to catch her slipping away. I spotted Max but no Aspen.

And instead of finding her with him, I came face-to-face with her new boyfriend making out with some guy. I had no idea what was going on. I smacked Max on the shoulder. He turned around, and I immediately got in his face.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

I didn’t care if the guy swung for both fences, but if he was banging Aspen, he’d better be upfront with her.

“Aspen took off, and we”—he pointed between us—“have nothing to talk about.” Max matched my move and got within an inch of my face. “So fuck off.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” My hands flexed at my sides. It took everything in me not to lay the guy out. But something stopped me… maybe the confusion about why he was with another guy. “Does Aspen know your mackin’ on some guy?”

A dark laugh spilled from Max’s mouth. “Aspen’s not my type, but if it keeps her away from you, a guy who has done nothing but hurt her, then I’ll set her up with every single straight guy I know.”

Aspen’s attitude toward me about Max, then Damon’s comment about how I didn’t have to worry, filtered through my mind, staying my reaction. Max took the opportunity and stormed away. I was left with the guy Max had been making out with. He eyed me with interest. I turned and headed for the exit, wanting to pull my hair out. She made me so crazy I wasn’t seeing things clearly. And that didn’t happen to me.

It made me think about how much I really needed to stay away from her. Even though I wanted to go talk to her, I shouldn’t. I had enough going on with school and football, and after dinner, Grandad had hit me up to make some deliveries for his company. As if I had the time for that. He wouldn’t accept any answer but yes—he was a hard-ass like that—stating that the business would fall to Shane and me, and we needed to know every aspect of it, inside and out.

Screw that. I didn’t want his business. Everything in my life was leading up to the NFL. And if I got injured or something else happened, then I would find another job that involved football. Sportscasting, analytics, coaching, whatever, just so long as I was still part of the game I was destined for. His property management company could bite me.

The drive back to the house was uneventful. I passed a few of the other guys and distractedly responded to their greetings or questions. I wanted more than anything to go to Aspen, to talk to her and find out what game she was playing with Max. Or maybe she didn’t know he was into guys.

The truth was probably that I was the idiot, the only one that hadn’t connected the dots. But she made me crazy. I couldn’t think straight around her, and it shook me up. If she could affect me that way, it could eventually bleed onto the field, and I couldn’t risk losing my ability to read the field, the plays, and the game's subtleties. Fuck that.

I had to stick to my original plan and help with our kid, provide for him or her, and not get involved with Aspen. If only I could get her out of my head.

In my room—Shane was absent again—I stripped off my clothes and headed to the shower. I did everything I could to block Aspen from my thoughts as pink-tinged water swirled around the drain until it disappeared. Water beat down on me, soothing sore muscles. I had to keep it together.

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