Page 29 of Cruel Hate

He was correct on both counts. I dreamed of our only time together more often than I wanted to admit, and I did deserve better. All Phoenix and I seemed to do was argue. It terrified me that I would live my parents’ life if I let him in too much, leading to me setting those boundaries earlier when I told him to leave me alone and that I wasn’t his business anymore. But Max didn’t understand ourotherconnection, and it was time to let him in on that little not-so-secret news.

“I can’t completely cut him out of my life because I’m pregnant, and he’s the father.”

Max’s mouth dropped open, and his eyes whipped to my flat stomach before they returned to my face. He snapped his mouth shut with an audible pop. I swore I could see the wheels turning in his head before he let himself speak. “When did this happen?”

“Over the summer. July. I’m three months along.” It was still weird to say it out loud. I wasn’t used to it, but my reality solidified a little more each time.

“Don’t kill me for asking this, but how will having a baby fit your future plans?”

“I haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Well, baby girl”—he made an O with his mouth—“I guess I shouldn’t call you that anymore.”

I snickered. “It doesn’t bother me.”

He took my hands in his warm ones and squeezed. “I’m always here to listen if you need a sounding board. And if you want to, you can tell Phoenix I’m gay.”

“About that… why haven’t you told him?”

He flashed a mischievous grin. “Him thinking I’m into you and competing with him is much more fun. He’s allgrrrand sexy. I like the visual.” He shrugged. “Sue me.”

“I like the visual, too, just not when he opens his mouth. If I could duct tape it closed, he would be just about everything I wanted.” I giggled, knowing Max would understand my humor. “I just want to sleep with him, not let him say anything because he’s always starting with me, and then have him leave.

Max pursed his lips. “Why don’t you propose a deal between you two for sex? You’re already pregnant. What would be the harm?”

“I…” I had no argument, especially since he wasn’t the first person close to me who’d made that suggestion. Riley and Cass had spearheaded the argument to go for it. We fell into silence, and I let the idea roll around in my head. It’s not as though I hadn’t thought of it before, but to hear Max say it…Why not?“I’m not sure how that would work. Neither of us wants a relationship. The baby is literally the only thing we have in common.”

“Just a little something to think about.” He tugged my hand. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to your room.”

“Oh, right.” I slid off the bed and went with him. “You have that date tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

He hugged me and laughed. “That literally says do everything.” He bopped my nose. “I approve. And trust me. I plan to do all that and much more. Joel is fine with a capital F.”

Back in my room, I flopped onto my bed and pulled out my phone. My homework was done except for that last chapter I had to read, but I was too tired to do that and didn’t want to. Instead, I called Regan.

“Hey.” She sounded out of breath. “Everything okay?”

“Yep. Do you have a minute? I thought we could talk a little about the business.”

“I’ve got five minutes, but then I’m packing to go to Paris with Dane and his family!”

“What?” I sat up, stunned. “When did this happen? And what about school?”

“It’s only about ten days, and I’m frantically trying to find out my assignments so I can get as much of my school work done, so I’m not completely drowning in it when we get back. Or worse, doing homework while traveling.”

I didn’t know what to say. “That’s amazing. I can’t believe it. Why did they decide to go?”And take you with, but I didn’t want to ask that.

“Dane’s mom has some old college friends who live in France, and one of them manages Louis Vuitton. She wants to go shopping and introduce me to the Paris fashion scene. It’s going to be nonstop designers. I can’t wait!”

“I’m so happy for you, Regan.” I was also sad, but that was the self-pity talking. Her life was just beginning, and mine was stalled and uncertain. “We can talk when you’re back. Take tons of pictures. Love you, sis.”

“Thanks. I promise I’ll call you as soon as we’re back home.”

We hung up, and I lay back down and stared at the ceiling. I wanted to ask her to come to my next doctor’s appointment. It was all so scary, and I felt so alone. A small part of me thought about asking Phoenix, but based on his assholery earlier, I decided against it. I didn’t want to give him any additional control over my life. Somehow, I felt like he would find new ways to torture me even more than nagging me to take the vitamins.

That left Mom. I toyed with the phone, unsure about calling. I’d tried to talk to them a few days ago. Dad was still so mad that he wasn’t speaking to me. But they’d had more time to get used to me being pregnant, and I hadn’t run home. Plus, they knew, whether it was true or not, that I had a boyfriend. Maybe they thought we would make things work.

Screw it.I pressed Mom’s contact button then waited for her to answer. And waited… It rang for so long that I wasn’t sure she was going to pick up. But she finally did and also sounded out of breath.

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