Page 32 of The Thorn's Kiss

Waves ripple through my body, rising and rising, until I burst, opening my eyes to the red and pink wallpaper of my room and no beast. I’m by myself. I pull my hand from between my legs, gasping as the weight of my reality slams into my chest. My throat goes dry, and I can’t breathe. Shifting to sit up, hoping it will help my racing blood to slow and my breathing to return, I grip the sheets.

I can’t believe I allowed him into my dreams. Although it seems that wasn’t much of my choice either. He does whatever he wants, uninvited anyway. The room spins as I think of my betrayal. This man will kill my father if he doesn’t return with the money, and then he’ll kill me. How can I want such a creature? Nausea hits me like a train, and I run to the bathing room to find another bucket. Thankfully, there are a few empty ones, and I heave in one. But all that leaves my stomach is spit.

I’ve lost control of my body, my needs, and my wants to him. He’s stolen them from me, like he robs the joy from those who work under him. I’d like to run from myself, but I can’t. I’m a traitor.

Falling to my knees, I cry and pray before grabbing my heart and apologizing to my father, though I know my words won’t reach him.

Chapter Fourteen

Olivia

Perhapsnoteatingwasa mistake. I might not want his food, but my stomach is wounded. It’s like the organ is being cut and squeezed to death at the same time. Or there’s a tight cord connecting the lump to my chest. Vicious hands pull as far as it can go without breaking away from the cage behind my flesh. I envision if I were cut open, it would be like looking into hell. All red and inflamed. Lying on my back makes it even worse. In fact, there’s no possible comfortable position. I must eat, or I’ll never sleep again.

Stumbling from the bed, I grip the wooden posts to steady myself as the room settles back into one image. Doubt accompanies slow steps toward the door. The last thing I’d want is to run into the beast on the way down. He’d surely send me back to my room, punishing me for not eating. But I have no choice. Some hot tea, at least, would take this pain away. Although now would be the perfect time for that pig on a platter. I think I could eat that whole thing without his help.

The door squeaks open and before this moment, it had never sounded so loud. I wince at the jarring noise and take a deep breath. This gap is so far only large enough to push my head through. I examine up and down the lantern-lit hallway and listen for voices. Blast, I hope he’s in his room or outside shooting at trees, whatever he does to entertain himself. Barefooted, I tiptoe across the swept wooden floors. Lifting my nightdress, I try to hurry toward the stairs, but even the light linen feels too heavy.

The stairs blur with each step, and the sound of footsteps jerks me to a stop. If I spin around at this very moment, I’ll tumble down these stairs like a burst sack of potatoes. Gripping the wooden banister like it’s my lifeline, I listen. My body is pressed so close to it, it’s as if I’m trying to become one of the balusters. My heart races, and I wait for the footsteps to depart, but they don’t. The silhouette grows, and I hold my breath. I suppose sending me to my room would be a merciful act. Heaven knows he could do a lot more to me. I’m not up to his games right now.

Defeated, I slump. If he’s going to send me back to my room, the least he could do is carry me there himself; I’m swaying forward.

“Oh, dear. Are you okay?” Gloria’s voice sweeps through me like a wave. Oh, thank goodness.

She hurries up the stairs. Her face fades in and out before she wraps her arm around me. “So hungry,” I say.

She presses me close to her body and guides my feet forward. “It’s okay. Let’s get you something to eat. The next time you think about punishing the beast, try not to punish yourself instead,” she says, squeezing me closer. There’s a reprimand in her tone, and I smile.

“Thanks for caring,” I whisper, leaning my head against her shoulder as she shushes me. Her slippered feet hurry along and with my body pressed up against hers, it almost feels as if I’m gliding across the floor. She pushes a door open, and she mutters when we come upon another set of stairs. My heart leaps. A part of me worries whether I misinterpreted her actions and if I’m being taken back to the cellar. But the smoky whiff of roasted pig quickly removes any concerns.

“Oh, dear. What’s the matter wit’ her?” I hear someone ask as a chair scrapes across the floor.

“The stubborn girl refused her meal earlier,” Gloria says as she slumps me down in the seat.

My eyes ache against the candlelight but as I look up, I can see that I’m surrounded by servants plating food, which some of them take through another door; I assume it leads to their quarters.

“Now, why’d she do that?” A plump woman scooping out hot, aromatic gravy turns to look at me with a furrow of her brows.

I lick my lips.

“Thought she was making a statement with the boss,” Gloria says, slapping her hand against her hip.

Another voice from the shadows sucks their teeth. “Pity. It’s hard to make a statement with him. He does what he wants and gets what he wants,” the voice says before stepping into the light. “So, what’ll it be? You already know what’s on the menu. We’re just having the leftovers.”

I put my hands up. “Oh, I don’t want to deprive you,” I start.

“Oh, shush,” Gloria says. “She’ll have some slices of meat, bread, gravy, vegetables, and potatoes. Pile it on her plate,” she says.

“Don’t worry, lass. We’ll fix y’up,” the plump woman says with a smile.

She plates me a heavy serving, and my lips water as Gloria brings the plate over to me. I dig in immediately.

“Well, slow down. You don’t want to chuck it all up,” Gloria says. “What’ll you have for drink? Wine? Water?” she asks.

“Water is fine,” I mumble with a muffled mouth packed with food.

She shrugs. “More wine for me, then.”

“The poor girl. How can he be so cruel?” the other woman says. I can see that she’s missing a couple of teeth and like her meaty counterpart, she’s also a bit older than Gloria.

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