Page 146 of Madness Behind the Mask
“There’s a potion you can take to be sure,” he says. “I’ll get you onetomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, come on. Let’s get you into bed. You need your rest.”
He pulls me up, and I wrap the towel tight around me.He grabs another three towels to dry my hair before he guides me to bed. He doesn’t ask if I want to cut my hair, and I’m grateful for that, unable to handle that question right now. I planned to cut it when I got home, but with Caden mad at me… It’ll feel too much like I’m cutting him out of my life.
“How do I make it stop?” I ask as he tucks me into bed. “How do I make all the pointless killingstop?” Angry tears flow down my cheeks as he stares at me in silence. “I tried by killing all those vampires, but the Blood Fangs are still here. Ryo is dead.” My heart twists at the loss of my last child. He died because of Aleric. And me. Because I left my family in an attempt to save them.
“How can I make itstop, Myers?”
He looks at me, really looks at me, searching my soul as I lay it all bare.
“I’m tired of having everything taken from me,” I say. “I’m tired of not being strong enough to save those I love. I need to end this. Ihaveto end this. Tell me how.”
He sighs as he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Sau, but there isn’t a way to end this. It’s been going on for too long, and you’re only one person.”
I flinch away from the truth of his words, but I don’t care for those statistics. “You’re wrong,” I say. “And I’m going to show you.”
He lays a hand on my shoulder. “You do that,” he says. “I would love to see it.” He leans down to kiss the top of my head. “Just don’t leave Caden again, Sau. He won’t survive it.”
Standing, he leaves me alone in my grief.
Only, it’s not just my grief that’s with me. It’s rage. It’s determination. And as my shadows move across the floor, it’s Olivia, too, as she comes through to curl in the bed around me.
“I’m not alone,” I whisper as I stare atmy hand. Olivia rubsher beak against my palm with a smallcluck, and I smile. “I’m not alone.” I can train a whole damn army.
Eight months later, I am standing behind the library under the light of the moon. There is a ward around the street, hiding us from the humans, but it’s a bit pointless. There aren’t any out at two in the morning. Not here at least. Behind the library isn’t the local “cool spot.”
But hopefully, what happens today will be the coolest thing to ever happen in St. Augustine.
I shift nervously as I wait for the three men to arrive, not because I worry they will hurt me but because I’m afraid they’ll be stubborn, idiotic men who would rather die than listen to a woman.
And if they choose that, then I’m going to have to go through with my threat of killing them, then call a parley with whoever replaces them.
As much as I’m sick of death, I’ll do that as much as I need to. Delilah told me I would have nine more sons, but I’m not bringing anyone else into a world with this much suffering.
So the suffering will end today, one way or another.
Caden is the first to arrive, and the sight of him breaks my heart. I have no idea where he’s been for the past few months. He walked out of our bathroom and never came back. Myers has kept in touch with him, sent him things to sign off on given he’s still the official Boss of our gang, but he refused to share Caden’s location. Myers’ loyalty is to the Shadow Domain...not to the wife of his brother.
“You look good,” I say as he approaches. He’s early, a whole fifteen minutes before the hour. I arrived early just on the chance he did.
“You’re a liar,” he says.
I flinch, then swallow hard. “You look good to me.”
An awkward silence descends, crushing me under its weight. Caden’s eyes are baggy with the lack of sleep, as are mine, but his eyes look sharper, less twisted in pain. I wonder if that means he’s ready to forgive me...orif he’s cut me out of his life for good. My breath catching, I lift a hand to my hair. It’s twisted in a bun atop my head, still not cut.
“How have you been?” I ask, needing to fill the silence with something.
“Fine.”
I roll my lips in, catching my sarcastic comment, then pushing it out anyway, wishing we could talk like we used to. “Now who’s the liar?” I tease.
He stares at me, no smile curling his lips, and I wonder if I’ve fucked up even more.
But then he sighs, and for a second, his shields drop. “I miss you.”
