I amnothing buta horrible, terrible person with needs no woman should have. I am adisease, a blemish on his purity.
Caden groans as his cock jerks inside me, reacting to my involuntary kegel. “I love you,” he murmurs as he kisses myshoulder, and I only manage not to flinch due to how numb my body is. How it’s been for the last hour as Caden tried to make this momentours.
My heart too broken for any more tears, I stare with tired eyes into the darkness of our room. “I love you too,” I whisper, hoping that is enough. Hoping that my love for him will make up for the terrible, horrible wife that I am. For the sick, disgusting womanthatI am.
My stomach twists, and the taste of bile fills my mouth. Gods, I hate myself so fucking much.
I run my tongue across my teeth…
Wondering if I’m stronger this time. Less of a coward so I can actually go through with it and leave this world, remove my sickness from the lives of my family.
They’ll be so much better off without me…
“Trauma doesn’t heal immediately, Sau,” Caden says, turning me around to face him, his cock finally slipping free of my body. “Don’t blame yourself for needing time.” He cups my cheek, a dark desperation in his green eyes. A terrifying understanding about where my thoughts went.
“You promised me,” he whispers softly.
I close my eyes on a shudder.
I nod jerkingly, then look at him and nod again. “I’m sorry –” I start, but he cuts me off.
“Don’t apologize for your pain, sweet girl. I don’t just want your happy smiles.” Grabbing my hand, he raises it to his lips. “I want all of you, Sau. All the broken jagged pieces. All the glints of sunlight. I understand you need time to heal. I’m just asking you not to push me out while you do it.”
I glance away. A shaky exhale leaves my lips, but my nod this time is stronger.
I can do that…
I want to do that…
Leaning close, Caden kisses me. “Now get some rest. Iapologize for keeping you up so long.” I start to close my eyes on a yawn when he swings his legs out of bed and stands.
“Where are you going?” I ask as he picks up his shirt from the floor.
The question lingers in the dark, and for a moment, I don’t think he will answer, but then he turns to me on a sigh. “I need to go talk toChristian’swife.”
My heart skips a beat at the name of one of my rapists. “Why?” I demand, pushing up on an elbow.
“I just have some questions I want to ask her.”
“Do you think she knew what he was doing to me?” The question is a soft whisper, but it isn’t fear that quiets it. It is rage. Cold, vengeful rage that wishes to see them all dead.
He pulls on hisunder shorts, then his pants. Doing up the zipper and button, my husband finally turns to face me. “Christiansacrificed his hand saving my life when he shoved it down a wolf’s throat.”
My jaw drops on a gasp. “But that’s… Why would he do that?” Losing a hand is never a light matter regardless of one’s species, but for a witch, you’re not just losing a hand. You’re losing a conduit needed to access and control your magic. Very few people manage to survive learning how to wield it one-handed.
“That’s exactly what I need to find out,” he says. “I’ve struggled to make sense of his betrayal.”
“Maybe he regretted losing his hand?”
“Perhaps… ButChristianlearned to controlhismagic verbally.” That’s no easy feat, the binding of words a lot harder to master than a few twists of the hand. “And he lost it nearly fifteen years ago. So why did he decide to betray me now?”
My mouth opens and closes wordlessly as I collapse back onto the bed.I don’t want him to be innocent. I don’t want justice to have not been served, for another victim to havejoined me in this darkness. Finally, I manage to ask, “But then why did he attack Leon?”
“I don’t know.”
“But you think his wife will?”
“I think I need to talk to her.” He sighs. “She’s also good friends with Katie Wilks.”