“Did they take it inturns? Or did they...rapeme at the same time? Did theycutme, makeholesin me?” She shudders as she places a hand on her left breast, then trails it to her lower abdomen. “Was it just the two of them or were theremore?” Her words come out fast and high-pitched.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she digs each set of nails into her elbows and rips five deep lines down to her wrists, clawing at her skin. I grab hold of her hands as she collapses against my chest, sobbing and screaming out questions I can’t answer.
“Was it just once?”
“Was it just them?”
“What did they do to me?”
“What did theydoto me!”
She jerks away from me, wanting off my lap, but I don’t trust her enough to let her go. Don’t trust she won’t hurt herself even more.I can imagine her bleeding out in front of me, lying on her back and gasping for air just as I found her last night. My heart quickenstothe same pace as her panicked breathing.
“Sau, listen to me,” I say, turning her around to face me with my magic. I cup her face, using my telekinesis to keep her hands still. “They can never hurt you again, Sau,andIpromiseyou,if anyonedoes again,I’llkill them all.”
“Like you have Antonio?” she asks, her eyes red and puffy and accusing in their grief.
“Like I did Vance.”
She looks away from me, her eyes darting to the side,not quite ready to trust me like a wife should her husband. I haven’t earned it yet, but the gods as my witness, I will spend every day of my life proving to her she can. No one will ever hurt so much as a hair on her head and live.
“I want them to suffer,” she finally whispers, looking back at me. “I don’t want it to be quick for any of them.”
“It won’t be,” I say as I stand with her in my arms.
The knock comes again, but I ignore it until she nods, showing a sign of trust. She tries to crawl back beneath the desk, but I hold her on my lap. “It’s your uncle David.”
She tenses, freezing with the decision of what to do. As much as she wishes to see him, shame is clear in her eyes.
“You are not responsible for what Antonio did to you.”
“But I hid like a coward in my dreams.”
“You survived, Sau,” I say strongly. “There is no shame in that.”
She glances at me, then looks quickly away, chewing on her bottom lip.Breathing out, she wiggles against me, getting comfortable as she faces the door. Another soft breath passes her lips. Then she fists her hands in her lap and nods.
“Come in.”
The door swings open,and I can see it in her body – thetensingof anticipation.The little jitters of excitement.
He is the manwhomeans the most to her.
Not I.
Not fucking I.
Thirteen
HER
23 July 1947
Uncle David looks exactly the same as I last saw him, and my breath catches in my chest, ballooning out against the cavities untilithurts. Air shouldn’t hurt. I have a flicker of a thought of Jade asking me how it can, and that only intensifies the pain until tears fill my eyes.
I want to run to him as he enters and throw myself in the only arms left of my past, but my legs are too weak. Even though Caden kept me fed with his telekinesis –not wanting me to wake up to tubes–my muscles have not been used in years.Walking has been hard. Running is currently impossible.
“Uncle David…” I say, my words faltering as too many emotions fight to be heard.He is now the only father figure I have, and I am desperate to be in his arms, to have him hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Tears burn my eyes, andI blinkthemback, telling myself a Shadow doesn’tcry. He must think I am embarrassingly weakalready, a shame on the family name. I will notsully it further.