Page 24 of Madness Behind the Mask
He lifts my chin, his thumb brushing away my tears. “I’m so sorry I couldn’tkeepyoufrom beinghurt. But look at me, sweetheart.”
I shudder against him, but he waits patiently for me to obey.
A female Shadow always obeys. Always listens to her husband…
Swallowing, I open my eyes and am instantly reminded of my wedding day. The lifting of my veil. The smiling green eyes that looked down on me.
“Caden?”
He smiles at me –that same smile but more hardness in his eyes. More experience of a dark world. Do mine look the same?
“It’s really me, Sau,” he says as he presses his forehead to mine. “And I’m so sorry I thought you were safe here, but I promise I will never let you get hurt again.”
Tears roll down my cheeks as I feel the truth in hiswords. I throw both arms around him and cry until there is no more water left inside me. He holds me patiently, stroking my hair and back as I struggle to come to terms with everything.
Finally, I lift my head and look at him.“How long?” I croak.How long was I asleep?
He holds my gaze,his eyes full of a sorrow that sucks away my breath. My heart starts to pick up speed as I wait for his answer.
“Thirty years,”Cadeneventually murmurs. “Youhave been lost to us for thirty years.”
Ijerk from him, dropping my head into my hands and squeezing at the roots of my hair. My eyes widen as I catch the length of it. It’s no longer just at my shoulders. It’s down to my waist and so luxurious and shiny, like it’s been brushed every day likeMamasaid to do.
“Mama…” I ask, looking up at him, needing him to just know the rest of the sentence:is she alive?My throat is weak from not being used for thirty years and sore from being overused now even though I have such strong, clear memories of using itrecently.
I screamed so much. I begged Antonio so much…
To find out none of that was real is fucking with my head. It’s still so real to me. I want to ask Caden if he killed Antonio yet, but first I need to know if mymamais okay. If Luther and any of my otherbrotherssurvived. If my cousins…
Tears burn my eyes as the silence tells me the answers. But even still, I hope that Caden hasn’t understood what I’m asking. I need someone, anyone I used to know to still be here.
“Where’s…Mama?” I pushagain, andhiseyes darken with a pain that cuts me into pieces.
“I’m so sorry,Sau, buta few yearsafter we rescued you, the Death Hunt attacked our guards at the portal.Icalledeveryone in for reinforcements.”
I clutch at him, praying I haven’t lost Uncle David too.
“We killed a lot of the wolves and kept control of the portal, but when we got back home…” He pauses as he strokes my hair, and I wish he didn’t stop. Didn’t hesitate to look at me like he expects me to break. “The nursery was on fire. They’d thrown torches past the wards on our street. Your mother and cousins…I’m so sorry, Sau.”
My fingers tighten in his shirt as I close my eyes, but I don’t cry.
I don’t break.
I just mourn them all and everything I’ve lost.
They died because of me.
Because Antonio wanted me to suffer. Just like he’d promised me.
“My brothers?” I ask softly even though there’s a part of me that already knows. My Father was ‘old’ at fifty-two. Although our kind lives to two hundred naturally, the war takes our men far too soon. But if Caden is still alive, then maybe…
“I’m so sorry, Sau.”
I bite my cheek as I try to accept his words and the horrible truth my life has become.
“Luther died two hours ago,” he continues. “The blood on my shirt is his.”
A small whimper escapes me as I finally notice the fresh smell of blood. It’s soaked into hiscottonshirt andspatteredacross his face and arms. I’ve been so used to the smell, so flooded in it in my dreams that I didn’t notice. I shouldhave noticed my brother’s blood. “How?” I whine, the word a broken plea.
