Page 139 of Madness Behind the Mask
I scoot back quickly – not from terror but from guilt. Colton’s dead eyes haunt me as I look all around. I can hear Caden telling me his wife was pregnant. I can see his disappointment in what I’ve become.
I can hear Aleric’s laughter as he tells me how proud he is. How I’m just like him.
“I’m not!” I cry even as all these mindless deaths say I am. All the Blood Fangs weren’t in that gym.I swing my arms around as I stumble through the massacre, my feet slipping on the blood liberally coating the jagged rocks, but I don’t need to search to know Aleric isn’t here. I was a fool to think I could kill him just because Iwantedto, was desperate to.
All I’ve done is added to the mindless killing.
All I’ve done is become Aleric.
Screaming at the top of my lungs, I let the light go out. Perhaps one of the monsters will eat me. Perhaps I’ll fall off this damn mountain and tumble to my death.
The gods know I do not deserve to live.
I don’t know how many days it’s been. I don’t even know why I’m still alive.
I want to die. I deserve to die.
But there’s a drive in me that’s forcing me to keep going. A need to correct the wrongs I’ve done. I cannot bring the vampires back. Icannotturn back time,but I can still bring peace to St. Augustine, to my family as long as I can get out of this place.
So I ignore my desire to stop, to just rest against a rock as I starve to death, and instead, I just keep moving.
Exhausted with hunger, I follow the trail of slime from someslug-like monster. My light isn’t bright enough to spotthe beast, and I don’t want to get close enough it can. My bloodline might protect me from being attacked in this place, but I’m not so confident the deal with the djini my ancestor made will stop them from crushing me on accident, say it didn’t see me due to the lack of eyes. That seems exactly like the sort of loophole a djini would leave in.
So I keep my distance as I follow the slug down the mountain, across a barren rocky landscape I can barely see. I’m hoping that when it eats, it tears its prey apart rather than swallow it whole, so I’ll be able to live off the scrapsit leaves behind.
My stomach growling, I march on. I want to escape this place. I want to see Caden and Ryo again.
Iwillescape this place.
Iwillsee Caden and Ryo again.
I repeat those affirmative statements over and over, pushing hope into my words.
“I will escape this place. I will see Caden and Ryo again. I will bring peace to St. Augustine once I’m free. Because I will escape this place. I will see Caden and Ryo again. I will bring peace to St. Augustine...”
I’m going to die here. I stare down at the end of themucustrail. It stops abruptly with no sign showing where the slug went. I look up, holding my hands above my head to see if it’s suddenly levitated. Nothing but black sky. At least, nothing I can see in my thirty-odd foot diameter of healing light.
I want to scream out my frustration, but I don’t. That takes energy I don’t have.
Dropping my arms, I stare at the slime left by the slug. Then I drop to my knees and scoop up a bit of the mucus. My stomach growling in pain, I raise it to my lips.
As soon as the slimy wetness hits my tongue, I gag and my hands move away from my mouth. But if I don’t eat, I won’t live, so I squeeze my eyes shut and force myself to swallow.
I immediately throw it up again, my cheeks billowing out as I catch it before it leaves my lips. Although there is enough for me to try again, I know if I don’t manage to swallow this mouthful, I won’t manage to take another slurp.
So I fight it down, gagging many times before it settles in my stomach. I gag a few more times after too before scooping my hands back through the goop I’m kneeling in.
“I will escape this place,” I whisper as I raise the next mouthful to my lips. “I will see Caden and Ryo again.” Whatever it takes, Iwill.
Water.The word is a croak even inside my head, my throat too parched to sleep. I drop to my knees and cup my hands at the shore of the lake. I’m at the bottom of the mountain, and the rocks have given way to vegetation. After drinking my fill, I grab whatever berries and flowers I can find and shove them into my mouth, trusting my healing magic to counter any poisons I might be eating.
My stomach is bloated, and my muscles are weak, but I’m not dead yet.
Falling onto my ass, I stare at the shore, watching the ripples of the lake movebackand forth. It’s calming me, soothing me, damn near hypnotizing me, so it takes me a moment before I bolt up, my eyes wide.
I can see without using my healing magic.
It’s still darker than nights on Earth, but compared to the utter blackness I’ve been living in, it might as well be full on daylight.
