Page 130 of Madness Behind the Mask
I hate him. I hate my body. I hate this whole fucking world.
“I’m going to kill you,” I vow.
He presses a kiss to the base of my neck. “It would be a pleasure to die at your hands with my cock inside you.”
“I should’ve bit off more of your tongue.”
He chuckles. “Rule five, if you’re trying to incapacitate a vampire, make sure they don’t have any vials of blood on them.”
I stare at him, listening to the screams of his dying childrenalong with his laughter. “How can you not care at all about them?”
He lifts his head. His fingers pause, and there is a look in his eyes that looks so utterlywrongon him. If he had a soul, I’d say he looked tired of life. Of loving people who die. Of giving up a bit of his soul over and over again until he has nothing left. On him though? All I can say is it looks wrong.
“How can you?” he murmurs.
His dark eyes flicker across mine like he’s genuinely looking for an answer. And for a moment, I wonder if we could talk this out. If he couldunderstandall the pain he causes, but –
You can’t explain love to a monster.
So instead, I just hold his gaze and look athimfor the first time. Not the person I hate the most, even more than Antonio now. Not the person I’m terrified of for there’s nothing worse he can do to me. Not the murderer of my children. Not the careless father who’s letting his own die. Not the charming asshole with the ego the size of the stick up his ass.
Just Aleric.
A pathetic, pitiful excuse of a living thing.
And I know the exact moment he sees my thoughts. His eyes narrow. Rage – the first genuine emotion to cross his face twists his lips into a sneer.
He pinches my nipple hard, punishing me, sending that bolt all the way down to my pussy. I stiffen my muscles, trying to fight the reaction of my body, but it remembers the feel of his fingers, his tongue, his lips, and I’m still horribly turned on by violence.
I’ve tried so hard to come with Caden without the need for pain, but as soon as he’s gentle or loving, my libido plummets. There’s a dark part inside me. A part I hate. A part Aleric can touch and coax out of me so easily.
“It’s just anatomy, sweet girl.”
Caden’s words hurt my heart. I don’t care if it’s just anatomy. I don’t care if he’ll forgive me. I won’t be able to forgive myself.
I came here to kill him, to bring peace with the death of his gang, and he’s justenjoyingit.
I won’t let him enjoy me.
Tears burning my eyes, I picture Caden’s smile this morning. How he held the mug out to me. How he didn’t want to leave without spending a bit of time with me. I see the sun’s gentle rays on his face. I see the love in his beautiful green eyes.
As Alerictears apart my skirt, I picture Ryo as a baby, that moment he reached for me and called me mama. I feel the same heartache I experienced that day, the utter disbelief and pure joy. In my mind, I watch him grow up. Learn to fight. Learn to sing. He has such a deep, beautiful voice, and I let one of his songs flow through my ears.
“The sun is only rising,
The dew’s not even burned,
The colors are all enticing,
But,Mama, I’m ready to come home.
I lie in a meadow
Seeingnothing but daisies,
I walk through the woods
Hearingnothing but crows.
