Page 104 of Madness Behind the Mask
Ryo takesthismoment to wake with a little cry, and I shuffle back until I’m on my feet. “I think he’s hungry,” I say, only to immediately gag at the smell coming out of him.
Caden stands. “I’ll grab a nappy.Put him on the desk.”
I do as he says,then step back. One of Ryo’s favorite things to do, it seems, is to hold in a fountain of piss untilsomeonechangeshis nappy.
Caden stands beside me as Ryo cries, using his magic to change and clean him. As expected, a stream of piss shoots out a second before the new nappy goes on, and I shake my head with a small smile. He always fucking waits.
His wails sound louder.
No doubt he’s annoyed that he didn’t get to piss on someone’s face.
My grin widens.
What a little shit.
But at least he is alive and healthy.
My smile falters.
If only Olivia was too.
Thirty-Five
HER
28OCTOBER1947
Our living room fills withfivecapos,Leon, and Myerswithin seconds. When being late is a show of disrespect and being early is a sign of not being busy enough, you learn to be right on time.
Not one of them looks at me, their eyes passing over me like I’m just another object in the room. A lamp with its light on dim. A cushion discarded from thecouch.A book on math or science that people leave around just to make themselves look smarter to any guests who happen to catch a glimpse of it.
I stand beside my husband, a smile plastered on my face as he talks about everything but business and the reason they’re all here. But though he doesn’t mention our daughter even in passing and though none of them ask about her, I can feel her presence in the room. It’s in the buzz of expectation, in the puffing of chests, in theirreaffirmations of loyalty, the mentions of their successful endeavors. Kallum boasts about how he killedadozen of sired vampires and one wolf that night. Garrett marvels over how he’s already doubled last month’s drug sales, and there are still three days left, with Halloween being a major day for moving product. That’s a bit too close to business talk though, a bit too pushy for the rest of the capos, and Vance jokingly accuses him of being the buyer for half of those sales.
The room erupts in laughter. Garrett smiles in good humor, then fires back his ownsting about Vance raising the dead just to fuck them, and if that technically counts as masturbation considering he has to give them a part of himself.
A smirk curls the necromancer’s lips. “Why would I bother raising them when I can just fuck them as they are?” he asks.
My eyes widen, but the room erupts once more. Myers sayssomething in Caden’s ear,then disappears into the dining room.My husband’sjaw ticks once, and I start to ask him what’s wrong, but then he’s smiling and joking with his caposand our son,and I don’t want to interrupt.
Mothertold meall the timea good wife never talks to her husband’s guests unless spokentofirst. And even she wasnever allowed at the dinners,sowhen Caden told me I was to join him tonight, I thought he was mad. What would his capos think, him needing me by his side? “It is a sign of weakness,” I said.
“It is a sign of loveand respect,” he replied.
I still don’t think I should be here,but I am happy that I am. I want to get to know my potential son-in-law beforehe – whoeverheistakes my daughter away.
My eyes fall on Leon.AndI want to try to get to know my firstborn.I’ve been tryingso hard to close the gap my coma caused, but every time he visits, I am asleep. Everytime I enter a room, he seems to leave. Our conversations areheavilystilted. The only time we’ve ever hugged was when Olivia died.
I’ve tried to apologize for all the moments of his that I missed due to my cowardice, but his strides only ever get longer then. An “I have to go,” always slips out of his lips before I can ever get anything out of mine.
And so the distance grows.
Even tonight, when we are finally in the same room for more thanacoupleofseconds,Leondoesn’t look at me. Doesn’t acknowledge me at all.
I try to tell myself he’s just practicing for when he’s Boss. That a Boss can never show his weaknesses in case they’re used against him, but then Caden catches my eye, and he smiles. Acknowledging me. Loving me. Not caring to hide thatI am his weakness.
My throat closes as I smile back. I wish his love was enough to heal the pain of our son.
But it isn’t.
