Page 79 of Emma & Edmund

"What have you done? Are you insane? Do you have any idea of the names I had to hear my sister be called? How people waited and waited, peering out the windows for your return? It was humiliating!"

"Oh, I am so sorry for how this is affecting you." The facetious words slipped from her lips the same moment she plopped down on his bed, untold emotions raging through her. Fear, anger, all sprinkled with the undying pulsing ache between her legs, soreness slipping down her thighs now that the adrenaline was fading.

"Don't you start with that smart mouth!" Jonathan's finger was in her face, crossing the room in quick steps. Even as she glared into his eyes, Emma had the brief thought that her brother might actually strike her. "You've singlehandedly ruined everything. William Tate? Gone! Where is that Lockhart bastard now? Showing his face is the least he could do."

Logically, Emma knew her brother was reacting exactly as he should be. Even if it was a bit too late, this anger and inclination to simultaneously yell and avenge her were only natural to an older brother tasked with protecting his sister.

But despite the logic, her lips remained sealed, her eyes staring out the slim window as if to avoid her fate.

"Tell me!"

"I won't." She flinched away as she watched his hand rise from the corner of her eyes.

But again, the strike did not come. In its place, a loud groan of aggravation filled the small room.

"Why are you facing this alone? You deserve an offer, at the very least." Emma squeezed her eyes shut, in a vein effort to hold back the tears of shame. Edmund had thought the same as Jonathan.

"He made one."

"Is that so? The coward better make a good one."

"I rejected it."

"Why in heaven's name would you do that!"

Frustration coursed through her. Of course, Jonathan wouldn't comprehend her choice, she wouldn't if in his position. She could tell him everything, just as she was going to before all of her transgressions caught up with her.

But unlike that time, deep shame captured her, burying her secret even deeper.

"You don't understand, Jonathan, he isn't like us. Father or London or even you would never accept him. For him to come forward would only be an effort in futility."

A long stretch of silence came after she spoke, and when Emma gathered the courage to glance towards her brother, he had one hand over his aghast mouth. "He's Catholic, isn't he?"

It took everything within Emma to not laugh aloud, knowing she could never fully explain the irony to Jonathan. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't tame the small upturn of her lips.

"Oh, is this funny to you? Well, good. At least you have a small moment of levity before we see Father."

Emma sobered in an instant.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you daft? We are leaving. Now. Before you can bring us any more grief."

She didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Not to Anthony or Millie or even Belmont itself, with how quickly she was whisked out of the house, their getaway carriage already packed and waiting for them.

The halls weren't exactly empty as she made her shameful exit, cloak thrown over her head and wrapped around her, her brother's arm guiding her.

While some maintained a respectful distance, peering out from rooms and tucking themselves into corners, others stood right in their path, staring down at her with wide eyes full of taunts and curiosity. Even as she avoided them as much as possible, the whispers and giggles were impossible to ignore.

When Emma spotted Anthony across the room, he avoided her gaze.

Only as the wheels crunched across the gravel of Belmont's long drive did it sink in that she was leaving. The rooms, the balcony, the garden, the woods - she would never see again.

She would never see Edmund again.

Would he miss her? Would he look for her?

But why would he? She made certain he had absolutely no reason to do either.

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