Page 126 of My Everything

“Fuck, Kaylie,” he rasped. “You’re so goddamn tight right now.”

His words made me shiver, urging me to take him deeper. And he was right. It sounded easy in books, but in reality, water made you anything but wet. And he was big. But the pain-tinged pleasure only made me want him more. So did his shuddering muscles as I clung to him, crying out again and again into his neck.

He staggered as I pushed him to scream. His body shuddered, hips jerking into me to meet my thrusts before he exploded into me.

I clung to him as he carried me to shallower water. Then he put me down, told me to be still, and buried his head between my legs.

She padded into the bedroom the next morning, barefoot, and carrying two oversized mugs of steaming hot coffee.

I pushed myself up, leaning on one elbow, and yawned.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” She grinned at my dazed expression, and I groaned. If she believedshewas the reason for my lack of sleep, she’d be partly right, and I’d gladly keep it at that. But she was smart, and I couldn’t help but wince as I reached out with the wrong arm to take the cup.

Biting back the sudden pain, I shifted, sitting up and leaning back against the wall before taking it with my right hand. I drank long gulps of the back liquid before meeting her worried gaze.

“It shouldn’t hurt like that,” she stated the obvious, and I sighed, shrugging.

“It’s still healing.”

She crawled onto the bed, tucking a corner of the dark sheets onto her lap, and ran her fingers over the pattern. She studied the blue sky outside the window, and I didn’t like the silence and what would come after.

She finally shifted her gaze to mine, demanding answers. “What aren’t you telling me?”

I scoffed. Enough of the damn lies. Of the hiding from her. It did nothing but make everything worse. I couldn’t keep this from her if I planned to start a family with her. She was going to be there, through the good and the bad. Protecting her from the ugly side of life was never going to work long-term. She had seen enough to blow her rose-colored glasses right off her face.

“Marc!” she snapped. “Tell me!”

“Wanna know the truth?” I muttered, and she hesitated for a beat, but then nodded.

I looked at her, savoring the happy innocence on her face, knowing I was about to shatter it. “It’s not going to get better. This is permanent, Kaylie.”

Her face fell, and so did my stomach. Guilt squeezed my chest until I had to look away. Pushing off the wall, I swung my legs over the edge and sat, back turned to her.

“It’s my fault,” she whispered the exact words I tried to avoid. “I did this to you.”

“No.”

“Yes!” she snapped. “If it wasn’t for me, you’d never—” her voice broke, and I turned to face her. She clutched the cup in both hands, making the coffee quiver as she stared down at it. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I never meant for you to get hurt.”

“I never said so.” My voice was surprisingly soft. “Hey.” I gulped the coffee down, setting the mug aside before taking hers from her grip and placing it next to mine. Then I took her hands, clutching them. “I’d do it again if it meant keeping you safe.”

She shook her head, keeping her eyes on our joined hands.

“Look at me!” I demanded, and she slowly lifted her gaze. “I can handle it.” The moment I said it, I knew it was true. No matter how frustrating, how the regret gnawed at me. How the on-and-off pain didn’t let me sleep without drugs, I could deal with it. If I had her, I could do anything. “It’s nothing, Kay.”

She sighed, moving to hug me, and I squeezed her tight.

“This is not your fault,” I reminded her. “Don’t ever fucking think that.”

She pulled away, sitting next to me, and took my hand. “How…” she trailed off, as if she didn’t know how to put it. An awkward look came over her face, and I couldn’t take it.

“How does it feel?” I put her thoughts into words, and she nodded, glancing up at me in worried expectance.

“Like being stabbed with a hot iron.” No need to lie or sugarcoat it. Not even if it’d spare her or me. The horrified look on her face almost made me wish I lied. But that wasn’t me. “It’s fucking nerve damage, Kaylie. It’s not supposed to be pretty.”

She whimpered, and I gave her a tight smile. “As I said, I can deal with it.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

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