Page 102 of My Everything

She bridged the gap between us, hugging me and refusing to let go. We stood like that for a long time. When she finally stepped away, I felt as drained as an empty well. All the anger consumed left me with nothing but a deep sense of defeat.

“You’re all bloody,” she whispered, taking my hand to inspect it. “Let me clean this.” She led me back through the door, across the hall to the bathroom, unbuttoned the shirt, and pushed it off me. It landed on the shiny black floor, the white looking almost luminescent in the cold bluish light from the glass shower drawing me in. My eyes drifted to it with a sudden wish to stand there and let the water rinse away the pain. Physical. Emotional. I had no energy to do anything else. No will. That old familiar numbness was back, and it both scared me and calmed me. A coldness spread inside, soothing the frayed nerves until I couldn’t care about anything. If this was me shutting down, shutting her and everything she brought with it out, then I fucking welcomed it. I needed it. Even if it was only for a while.

I gave her a blank look, then turned my back to her. I dropped my pants and sling to the floor and stepped into the shower. Her gasp drowned in the spray of cold water raining down on me.

I stood frozen on the dark tiled bathroom floor, staring as the water rolled over his naked skin, and felt nothing but sadness. His anger I knew, and could deal with, but this? I never saw him so…broken. Tears prickled my eyes. I did this. Pushed him too far and for what? For Alex? I owed him nothing. So why did I feel like I had to help him? He helped me, sure, but that was just a human thing to do.

He never lied.That little voice inside whispered, and I grimaced. He never lied. He told the truth all along. I just refused to listen. Marc was alive. He held up his end of the deal—and I broke mine…

It didn’t mean I had to risk everything…

Watching Marc, I suddenly knew. It wasn’t for Alex, even though it was the right thing to do. It was forhim. For the magnificent man standing naked before me. He didn’t know it, but I’d do anything for him. Dom would never let this go, and in one way, I understood. He wasn’t the only one wanting to end Mr. X. Dom wouldn’t hesitate to hurt anyone who stood in his way.

Including Marc. I saw it in his eyes. The cold determination thatnothingorno onecould stand in the way of. He’d kill. He’d crush anyone to have his revenge. That was terrifying on its own. But it also aroused a curiosity somewhere deep in me. A need to knowwhy. Dom’s reasons weren’t why I did it, though. His ruthless fighting was. Marc was still healing, and if that arm got twisted, it was right back to square one. That Dom even wenttheretold me all I needed to know. He wouldn’t fight fair. He’d pull every dirty card he could, and he’d do it with no remorse.

I meant it when I said I wasn’t going anywhere. I wouldn’t. I’d come back. There was no other option.

My clothes joined Marc’s on the floor, then I stepped into the shower—and screamed. Jumping out and nearly slipping in the process, I stared up at Marc.

“It’s icy cold!” I gasped. “Why would you…”

The blank look on his face squeezed my heart into a tight ball. Tears sprang to my eyes from the sudden wave of guilt washing over me.

I reached out, tapping the panel that controlled the shower, and turned the water from cold to hot. When the temperature was back to normal, I stepped back into the spray, circling my arms around his waist, and pressed myself to his back.

“I love you,” I whispered into the steam rising from the sudden heat. “You won’t lose me.”

A shudder rippled through his body. His muscles tensed under me, belly muscles flexing as his chest heaved from deep breaths. I tightened my arms, pressing myself closer as if my much smaller body could hold him together.

“I know you’re afraid,” I murmured. “You don’t have to hide it. I’d be too if it was you.”

Another shudder ripped through him, a raspy breath leaving his lungs.

“I’m not her,” I murmured. “It’s not happening again. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” I wasn’t sure he listened or believed me, but it was the only thing I could do. “You won’t lose me,” I repeated. “You won’t.”

He moved, and before I knew it, I was pressed to his front instead. My head tucked to his chest and held there with a strong hand. I closed my eyes from the water, relaxing in his steel grip. His heart pounded in his chest, hard and fast, exposing his calm, cold exterior for the act it was. He bowed his head, resting his chin on my head, caging me in further. A calm enveloped me, a deep sense of safety of being in his arms. At that moment, I wanted to call it off. To take the consequences of going against Dom. I had too much to lose. Marc was right. It was dangerous. There was a chance I wouldn’t make it back to him. No matter what I promised, what I tried to convince myself, there was a risk, and I’d be a fool if I took it.

But I had to. If I could help bring Mr. X down, I had to. With him still out there, neither of us would be safe. We’d be living with targets on our backs. If I didn’t do this, and if it didn’t work the way we planned—there was only a matter of time before we were dead. Marc especially. If he left this place, he’d have a bullet in his head faster than he could blink. He pissed off the wrong men by surviving once. They wouldn’t let him get away with that again.

*

He sat on the bed, wearing nothing but the sling, and a white towel loosely draped around his hips. The way it was slipping down, revealing toned belly muscles, and that v-shaped wedge I couldn’t stop staring at, made it damn hard to focus on anything else.

He looked at me, a jaded look on his face that made me snap my thoughts out of the gutter.

I explained everything to him. Dom’s plan. How he’d get me into the hospital safe and undetected. Why it had to be me. And most of all, what I’d promise Alex in return for information that could help us destroy his father once and for all.

Marc was smart. He knew the world better than I did. He knew how cruel people could be. How one second could change everything. He knew I lied when I promised I’d be fine. That I’d come back to him, and we would finally be free. He knew it was nothing but empty promises with no guarantee to see them through. But he didn’t argue. Not anymore. And I wasn’t sure if I was disappointed or relieved.

“I fucking hate this,” he said at last.

I sat next to him, taking his hand. “I know,” I whispered. “Me too. But I must do this.”

He gave a stiff nod, and with that, my fate was settled. Dom wasn’t going to waste time. Tomorrow, I had to go. And if I allowed myself to really think of it, I’d be a nervous wreck.

We sat side by side in silence until I couldn’t take it. I shifted, drawing one leg up and turned to face him. “Please don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” he spoke facing the opposite wall, and something in me broke.

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