Page 126 of We Finished Here

“You got over all that in just a few days?”

“The answers came pretty quick.”I don’t want to be without you.

“What were they?” I hear her take a breath, like she’s preparing herself for the worst… Surely, she knows deep down how I feel?

“I love you, Emmerson. I’m done with this back-and-forth if you are. It might take me some time to adjust to something new between us… but I think we’ve done pretty well so far.”

“We live in different states.”

“We’ll work it out. It ain’t gotta be as hard as we think.” I pause. “Please think about it… take the time you need. If you decide you want to take a chance with me, come to the game.”

She sighs and I know she’s been thinking about it too.

“Let’s take these few days,” she says, finally. “Thanks for calling too, Tay, it’s been a little bit unnerving the last few days.”

“You’ve no idea.”

“You were great, by the way. You always are.”

That makes me smile. I knew she’d be watching. “So, I’ll hopefully see you at the game.”

“You’ll have to wait and see.”

I know she loves me, and she wants me, but is she willing to take the leap again?

That’s the big question that’s going to be burning in my soul for the next two days.

* * *

Game night rolls around faster than ever. Mom decides to come to the game and wraps up in a ski jacket, a Hawks hat, and scarf. She sits with her friend Marjory on one side and my dad on the other. I never thought I’d see the day when these two were on speaking terms… and good ones, at that.

Of course I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Emmerson. We haven’t contacted each other since I spoke to her. We’ve kept to our word and taken the time we needed to think about things. It really only took me a trip to Vegas to work out the fact I want her with me. Ineedher with me. I don’t want to do this alone anymore.

I can’t keep punishing her for the past by pulling back when she gets too close.

I can’t keep protecting my heart in case it gets hurt again. If we take the leap, I have to be all in, just like I’m all in with my career.

I always try to bring my best, and that’s what I have to do now.

I have to bring my best each and every time I’m with her. It’s what she deserves.

And she deserves to see the best of me in every way.

When we’re called onto the ice, I risk a look at the players’ bench, where I see Cindy sitting with a couple of her friends, but not Emmerson.

My heart sinks a little, but I close my eyes and shake off the feeling.

I’ve visualized it a million times over the last few days, what it would feel like to look up and see her there, smiling down at me, rooting for me and the team.

Every time I think about it, my heart feels like it’s going to explode, sending warmth through my body, tingling through what feels like every cell.

I haven’t stopped to even imagine what it would be like if she doesn’t show.

That could be a possibility that I’m not even prepared for.

So, as the first period sounds and play gets underway, I take a breath and send my energy and everything I have been trapping inside, afraid to let go all this time, out into the void. And it’s like a release of the past six years.

All my fears, doubt, guilt, and pain obliterates.

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