Page 17 of Beards and Babies

But my balls are so blue I want to punch Milo just to start this fucking fight, so I can move into his sister’s room. Robin and I agreed to take it slow, and I’ve been sleeping in my room, but after a week, we’re stealing kisses and ripping at each other’s clothes. I think she was worried about my attraction to her new body. If possible, I’m more hot for her than ever.

Unfortunately for our growing chemistry, her brother remains ever-present and forever scrawling his disapproval. Until their house gets built, the fucker is staying here with Meno, who’s a doll I might add, but it’s sure makin shit tense.

Another shocker. Milo is a multi-millionaire now that he and his lady love found Spanish gold. Plus, he’ll be getting his very own spread in National Geographic for finding it. Sad part is, I had to hear the great news from Meno and not my best friend.

She’s a real peach. Sweet and friendly and full of well wishes. The polar opposite of her boyfriend. He’s a surly fucker, who just leaves whatever room I walk into. Including his own when I tried to corner him to talk.

I’m pulling out all the stops today, starting with breakfast. Flipping the last chocolate protein pancakes, his favorite, I turn off the burner. They came out perfect, if I do say so myself.

Then I set the table semi-fancy with real plates and shake a little powdered sugar over the spread. I included scrambled eggs, bacon and an assortment of fruit. I overslept, or I would have run down to The Gingerbread Man. They make the best muffins on island, and I wonder if Robin had their Carrot Cake yet, I remember it was her favorite when she was little anyway. I’ll have to take her sometime. Even if it’s just to get out from under Milo’s disappointment in us.

His anger is fucking crushing, during the most exciting time in my life. If the big, bearded baby doesn’t talk to me soon and start being happy for me, I’m going to start questioning how one-sided this friendship has been. He’s the first person I normally would have told the good news. The one I need to hear tell me I’m not going to fuck this up.

Waddling in, at an adorable five-feet and maybe five-inches, an adorable Robin takes in my masterpiece. She gapes at its majesty, while I stand with pride like a hunter providing for my mate.

“Feast,” I declare, acting like a goofball to make her laugh.

But she doesn’t. Suddenly, her face morphs to pain, and she grabs her belly and clenches.

I quickly reach her, full of worry. “What’s wrong?”

She doesn’t reply but groans, gripping my fingers and then boom! a bucket of water falls at our feet.

“The hell?” I say in panic, but she looks to me and then releases the death grip on my fingers.

“It’s time. The baby’s coming.”

“What?” I say, my soul leaving my body.

“Time to do this damn thing,” she stutters, going into another contraction and squeezing my hand. I rub her back until it passes.

At that second, Meno and Milo rush in and see the mess.

“They’re close. We’ve got to move.”

“Meno can you grab some towels? Milo will you go start the car?” I ask, and they both nod and jump into action with no push back.

Slowly, I walk with Robin out to the car as she leans on me for support. Laying down the towels for her to sit, I run back for the hospital bag with all the things she wants and needs. A few short minutes later, we’re driving down the road, poor Robin gripping the doorhandle with another contraction. Fuck, my stomach twists in pain, hating every second she hurts.

“If I could take the hurt for you, baby, I would.”

The official due date isn’t for another week, and the thought of the baby being early makes me worry. Worst case scenarios play in mind as I drive as quickly and safely as fucking possible, all while trying to read Robin’s pain levels and silently freaking out.

Milo’s truck follows close behind us, and I try my best to focus on the road. Luckily, the island is small, and we make it to the hospital in under fifteen minutes then rush inside to a private delivery room. Fuck, this is it. My boy is coming!

“Breathe, baby. You got this,” I repeat as my strong woman screams in pain. This is the worst feeling in the world, watching someone you care about—fuck love. Someone I love, cuz I love her—and she’s in pain, and I don’t know how to help.

Feeling useless, I just hold her hand and listen to all of the nurse’s directions. Minutes later, we’re interrupted by someone attempting to stop the soon-to-be uncle. Milo roarsRobin’s name, and I jump up.

“Please don’t fight here. Not today,” Robin whines before going into another contraction.

“I swear it,” I promise her with a kiss to her sweaty forehead.

“This baby is coming. Where’s Dad?” a nurse says before I can make it out of the room. “Are you him? Will you be the guest staying with her for the delivery?”

My eyes shoot to Robin because we haven’t had the chance to talk about it yet. Just then, Milo bursts in.

“There you are. Tell them I’m supposed to be here.”

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