Page 15 of Collision

“Well, if you’re not going to have sex with him, why does it matter who else does?”

“It doesn’t. Just own it if you’re doing it.”

“What did he say when you said you weren’t interested in him like that?”

“He laughed!”

“He probably didn’t know what to do with himself.” Shelly puffed out her chest and deepened her voice. “You’re not interested in me? But I’m Chase Brooks. Everyone is interested in me.”

I giggled. “It wasn’t like that. He’s actually not as full of himself as I thought.”

She raised her eyebrows. “So you had a good time with him?”

I shrugged. “It was okay.”

“I don’t know. Chase offering to be your personal chauffer, and taking you to lunch is still pretty major. I think he’s got a crush on you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Highly doubtful. I’m one cup size and several hundred brain cells shy of being his type.”

“I think it’s time you started dating.”

“And I think it’s time you took your meds.”

“You haven’t been out on a date in a really long time – that’s just not healthy!”

“I’m touched at your concern for my health.”

“You’ve been through a lot. Don’t you think it’s time to try to get back to normal? You can’t really enjoy life when you’re missing out on such a huge part of it.”

“Just drop it, okay?” I could not remember what normal even felt like anymore.

“I’m your best friend. I’m not allowed to drop it.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Just go on a date, have some fun. No big deal. You have to come out of your comfort zone once in a while.”

“But I like my comfort zone. It’s comfy here.”

“Just because your mom left you doesn’t mean you can’t trust anyone else ever again. Don’t let her win.”

“You know, everyone out there has daddy issues. Sure, they might have low self-esteem… maybe they become strippers… but they’re all walking around having pretty normal lives. When you have mommy issues, though, that shit runs deep. You must be pretty screwed up if your own mother can’t love you.”

“She didn’t leave because she didn’t love you. The mother who abandons her child is the one who is screwed up. Not the child. I bet she thinks about you every single day.”

“I hope she doesn’t think about me. Ever. If she regretted her decision, it would make everything that much worse. I hope she found whatever it was that she was looking for, so at least it was all worth it in the end.” I glanced at the clock on the stove. “You’d better go get ready. Class starts in twenty.”

“I wish you were coming with me.”

I sighed. “I do, too.”

I walked back to the recliner and turned on the television. Having to drop all of my classes this semester due to my extenuating circumstances not only set my graduation date back, but it was yet another thing that alienated me from campus life. Shelly and I were having the average college experience, and we were always together. Now, her experience continued while mine was on hold.

Ten minutes later, Shelly swung her bag onto her shoulder and grabbed her keys off the breakfast nook. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“It’s Thursday – aren’t you staying at Brody’s?”

“Not tonight. Maybe Saturday… or whenever.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I told Brody I wanted to stay home with you tonight.”

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