Page 13 of Collision

He reached in and fastened my seatbelt.

“This just makes me feel like a child,” I admitted.

He paused after he heard the click, his face inches from mine. “It’s ok to need help sometimes.”

“It just makes me feel pathetic, not being able to do stuff on my own.”

“You’re not pathetic at all. You don’t always have to do everything on your own. You have people you can lean on.”

“I know.”

“Not just Shelly. You have me, now. You can lean on me.”

I allowed myself to hold his gaze. Looking into his eyes was like watching a horror scene: even though you know you should look away, to save yourself the heartache, you can’t seem to peel your eyes from it no matter what you do. He seemed so sincere. I wanted to believe him – to trust him – but I knew better.

He closed my door and walked around to the driver’s side. My head fell back onto the headrest and I exhaled the breath I had been holding. I concentrated on the car in front of us as we made our way back to Shelly’s.

“So, I spoke to my mom about having you stay in our apartment. She said she wouldn’t charge you rent. Gas and electric would be covered, too.”

I turned in the seat to face him. “You asked your mom?!”

“Yeah. She was totally fine with it. She said the space was going to waste just sitting there, empty.”

“I already told you: I don’t have money for rent, and I am not living there without paying. I can’t believe you’d even ask her. She probably thinks I’m some loser moocher, or something!”

He laughed, which only fueled my fire. “She does not think you are a loser, or a moocher. She knows what you’re going through. She knew your dad, and said she would be honored to help his daughter in any way that she can.”

“Awesome. More pity offers. Now she’ll think I’m ungrateful if I don’t say yes. I can’t believe you!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you were going to be mad about this. I’m just trying to help you out.”

“I don’t need your help, Chase. If I needed it, I’d ask for it.”

“See, I don’t think you would. That’s your problem. You don’t ask for help. You’d rather just struggle and suffer alone.”

“That’s my choice to make. Not yours.”

“You said you felt bad about staying in Shelly’s apartment. I found a space for you. What’s the big deal?”

“I can’t stay in your parents’ apartment for free!”

The car slowed to a stop as Chase put the car in park in front of the apartment.

“We’ve known each other our whole lives. My mom knows you’re going to take care of the place. She’s happy to do it.”

“We haven’t known each other at all… and you didn’t even ask me. You put me in such a weird position now.”

“I was just trying –“

“To help, I know. Everyone wants to help, but they can’t.” I pushed through the pain and managed to unfasten my own seatbelt. I left the car as quickly as I could, and up the stairs even quicker. Shelly was still at school, so I paced in the silence. My phone sounded, undoubtedly a text from Chase. I switched it to silent and tossed it onto the chair.

I recognized that my anger did not come solely from Chase, but I certainly threw it all at him. I was furious that I was even in this position to begin with – homeless – without a place to feel comfortable and to call my own. It was a painful reminder of the home I once had. I knew none of this was Chase’s fault, but it wasn’t mine either. That was what angered me most of all. I was mad at the world for the hand I was dealt. It wasn’t fair. I tried everything I could to make things better, but things only got worse. So what was the point in even trying?

4

Prince Charming

“Help!” I screamed, as loud as I could in between coughs. The flames were surrounding me now, and it was almost impossible to breathe. I tried to cover my face with my hands, but only one of them lifted up. It felt like my other arm was crushed against something; I strained my eyes to see, but black smoke filled the car. I attempted to scream for help again, but inhaling just made me cough harder. It was unbearably hot. I was sweating so much it felt like I was melting. I wiped my forehead with my hand, and I realized it wasn’t sweat that was streaming down my face – it was blood. I was stuck, and there was no way out. I closed my eyes. Panic turned to terror as I let the truth sink in: I was going to die.

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