Page 59 of Don't Call Me Sweetheart

“Yeah.” I paused, remembering how it felt like the conversation would literally kill me, and then somehow it…was fine.

It was always fine with Kate. Like I was so sure I was tightrope walking over an active volcano, only to discover the lava was really foam blocks.

“Yeah, she knows about the foster homes and the relationship issues and all that. So we thought maybe we could help each other. Work out our issues in a relationship with low stakes.”

“And that’s why you have a predetermined breakup date? To keep the stakes low?”

“Exactly.” I was relieved Josh understood. “It’s like relationship training wheels.”

“Right.” Josh scribbled something on the yellow legal pad he always kept handy during therapy sessions. “Fake dating.”

“It’s not fake dating,” I said. “It’s practice dating. We’re not pretending anything. It’s all real.”

“Uh-huh. So instead of lying to everyone else, you’re just lying to yourselves. Got it.” More scribbling on his legal pad.

I frowned. “Maybe I’m not explaining this right.”

“Oh no, you’re explaining it exactly right.” Josh laughed so hard he snorted. “Oh, man.” He wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. “Listen, I’m glad that whatever it is you’re doing with Kate has given you the space to explore emotional intimacy. Really. But this isn’t low stakes. Not for you. You’re already in deeper with Kate than you’ve been with anyone.”

I processed this slowly. “You think I’m going to get hurt?”

“Dude, I know you are. So will Kate. Because this is a real relationship, no matter how it ends, and in real relationships, sometimes it hurts. It’s unavoidable. Romantic relationships, friendships, family ties, it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship we’re talking about. Eventually, it hurts.”

“So you think I should end things now, rather than later.” I didn’t like that idea. Not one bit.

“That’s not what I said at all.” Josh blew out a breath, mildly exasperated. “Being hurt by someone you love, who loves you? Yeah, that feels like absolute shit. But it’s not the worst thing in the world. Pain is part of life. Embrace it.”

“How uplifting,” I said dryly.

Still, I knew Josh was right. Pain was a natural part of relationships. Hell, knowing I had less than a month left with Kate made me feel like I had swallowed a razor blade. It already hurt, and it hadn’t even happened yet. So, yeah. It would hurt when we ended.

But it wouldn’t break me.

Because I knew it was coming. I expected it. It couldn’t blindside me, like the second time my mother had given me back to the system, sliding back into heroin after nine months of sobriety.

This was my choice. The whole thing had been my idea, down to the breakup date. I would never have opened up to her, would never have let her in like this otherwise. Because I knew there would be an end, regardless. Kate wasn’t going to keep me. No one ever did.

But at least this time, it would be on my terms.

Chapter 19

Kate

I slapped the card on the counter at Sweet Things and narrowed my eyes at my friends. “What is this?”

“I think it’s pretty clear that it’s an official summons from the mayor, Kate,” Suzie said, completely deadpan. She bounced gently with each word, keeping four-month-old Carly calm.

Emma pulled the lemon lollipop from her mouth. “It’s come to our attention that you have been spending an awful lot of time with a certain newcomer, and we think it’s about time we were properly introduced. Make sure he’s up to snuff.”

I shook my head. “In the first place, what does that even mean, up to snuff? What is snuff? In the second place, you can’t officially summon me to introduce you to my boyfriend, Emma. It’s an abuse of power.”

“So fire me.” Emma grinned, unrepentant. We all knew that Hart’s Ridge would never fire her. No one was eager to take over the job of small-town mayor. It was hard work—unpaid hard work. “But let’s circle back to what you just said. Boyfriend?”

Suzie’s eyes went wide. “Ohhhh.”

My cheeks felt hot. I had no doubt my face was as pink as a strawberry Starburst. “It’s not a big deal,” I muttered.

“No, Kate, it is a very big deal.” Suzie bounced emphatically. “To summarize, you haven’t been with anyone since George died. And then two months ago—”

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