Page 58 of Don't Call Me Sweetheart

At precisely 5:30, Josh appeared on the screen. Once we got the pleasantries out of the way, Josh got right to the point.

“It’s been a while since we talked. A month?” Josh consulted his planner. “Right. Because you canceled our session when you were sick. So, get me up to speed. How did you do with your homework?”

“My homework?” I drew a blank.

“You were supposed to make some friends. Specifically Kate, although I would be happy to see you connect with anyone. So, how did it go? Did you socialize outside of school events?”

Oh. Right.

Well.

“Sort of.” I pushed my glasses higher on my nose. “I have socialized with Kate outside of school events. Several times. Yesterday, in fact.” Although that had happened on Piedmont grounds, it sure as hell wasn’t a school-sanctioned event, so it counted.

And then there it was again, in my mind. Kate on her knees. Kate on my desk. Kate crying my name as she came. Apparently even the fact that it had ended with Plan B couldn’t stop the replay from making me hard. Probably a good thing to bring up with my therapist, because there might be something wrong with me. But I wasn’t going to do that.

“What did this socializing consist of?” Josh asked, his tone deceptively bland the way it always was when he had Therapist Thoughts simmering.

Fucking Kate in the principal’s office.

I could say that. This was a safe space; I could tell Josh anything, without fear of harsh judgment. Still, I was reluctant to do that. I wasn’t going to hide the truth about Kate from him, but this part of it I wanted to keep to myself. For now. Until I had wrapped my mind around the whole thing.

“Well, we went axe throwing,” I said. “That was our first date.”

“A date.” Josh leaned in on his forearms, eyebrows raised. “That was not the assignment, Max.”

“You wanted me to make an emotional connection.” I knew I sounded defensive. I hated the idea of failing an assignment, even an ungraded one. It wasn’t like Josh would award me an A+ for doing the work. Mental health was its own reward, blah, blah, blah. Even if privately I thought my performance yesterday was worthy of a gold star. Except for that one critical detail of protection.

So maybe a silver star, then.

Josh looked unconvinced. “So you’re telling me that you have an emotional connection to Kate. And you’re okay with that? Because we both know how you feel about relationships being messy. Kate is the parent of a student—”

“Her father is on the board of directors at Piedmont,” I added, fully aware that I was making Josh’s case for him.

Josh’s eyebrows shot up again. “Is he?” When I nodded, he rubbed his chin. “Okay. This is messy. You know that, don’t you?”

“I’m aware.”

There was no point in denying the truth. Hell, if Kate and I hadn’t realized I had forgotten a condom, things could have gotten even messier. But that wasn’t going to stop me from sliding deeper, because I knew it was all going to be okay. November 1—our expiration date—was my life raft.

“The mess is contained,” I assured him. “We have it all under control. The dating…it’s just temporary. It ends on November first.”

A myriad of expressions flitted across Josh’s face, but all he said was, “Tell me more about that.”

“Well. Okay. Kate and I—we both have our…issues,” I said carefully. “Things that make it feel impossible to have a healthy, functional relationship. You already know mine.” I paused, unsure of how deep to go. Discussing a girlfriend like this, in therapy, was new territory for me. “Do you need to know Kate’s? It feels weird to talk about her like this. Like I’m violating her privacy or something.”

Josh cocked his head. “We’ve talked about your girlfriends before. Why do you think it feels different now?”

“I talked about them like, oh, I’m dating someone. She’s nice. Now she broke up with me. I never really talked about their issues. They didn’t have issues.”

Josh laughed. “Oh, they had issues. They just didn’t open up to you about them. Trust me. They all dated you, didn’t they? Ergo, issues.”

“Wow.” I blinked. “That’s mean.”

“I’m just saying, you’re an emotionally unavailable man.” Josh tapped his pen thoughtfully. “Although, they all broke up with you right around the three-month mark, right? Except Janie. She lasted six weeks. Anyway, that speaks to a certain level of well-adjustedness on their part.”

“Again,” I said, “mean.”

“Honest,” Josh corrected. “And it’s not exactly brand-new information for you, because it’s at least partly why you’re in therapy.” He leaned forward. “What’s interesting to me is that this time is different. You know Kate has issues. Does she know about yours?”

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