Page 74 of Make Me Love You

“I know.”

“Listen, I appreciate you coming by, but there’s nothing to talk about. We agreed this thing with us would end with the election. The election is over, so we’re done, and she left. How did you even know about it, anyway?”

“That depends on what you mean by it. I knew there was something between you when you ordered her out of my bar. I knew you had messed it up when Suzie paid me a visit today and told me all about it.”

“Suzie?” He tried not to look too eager. “What did she say?”

“I just told you.”

Eli gritted his teeth in frustration. “I mean—”

“I know what you mean, man.” Luke grinned and pointed at him with his fork. “You want details. You want to know if Emma is eating her feelings with a giant pan of lasagna.”

Eli looked down at his own half-eaten pan of lasagna, then back at Luke. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Right.” Luke helped himself to two beers from the fridge, which was fair enough, Eli supposed, since he had gotten more free drinks than he could count from Goat’s Tavern over the years. He popped the top of both and handed one to Eli. “You can drink this, right? Without violating your own rules, I mean. Since you’re not sad.”

Eli rubbed the back of his neck. He wanted it. It would feel damn good right about now, especially if he chased that beer with a bottle of whiskey. “I’m sticking with soda tonight.”

“Right.” Luke smirked. “Anyway, Emma is doing about the same as you, I hear. I don’t know about the lasagna, but Suzie said she cried.”

“Oh.” Why didn’t that make him feel better? He took a long swallow of soda. That didn’t make him feel better, either.

Luke lifted his beer in a salute. “Two months. That’s a record for you, isn’t it? Emma sure had you running scared.”

Scared? He wasn’t scared.

“I told you,” he said, annoyed. “We had a deal.”

“And I’m telling you, that’s bullshit. Who cares if you agreed to end things after the election? That was dumb. You’re in love with her. You have always been in love with her. You made that deal because you were scared of getting hurt. And now look where you’re at. Hurt. So go tell her you were dumb and get on with being happy.”

As if it were that simple.

“You don’t get it. She left—”

Luke tilted his head. “You keep saying that. But she didn’t leave. You left. You broke up with her. Left her standing on her porch. What was she supposed to do, follow you and drag you back?”

Yes. “No, I mean—” Hell, what did he mean? He pinched the bridge of his nose. A kiss on the cheek, I love you, dark hair tickling his ear. No, wait, that was his mom. Hands clenched into fists, I never want to see you again. That was Emma...not yesterday, but it was still her. “She didn’t talk to me for eight years. Eight years. What am I supposed to do with that?”

Luke shrugged.

“No, seriously. Tell me what I’m supposed to do.” Eli was angry now. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? You have all the answers. So go ahead. Tell me how I’m letting a childhood trauma ruin all my relationships. Tell me that I’m so scared of getting hurt that I bail before they can. Tell me I’m just repeating that same old pattern with Emma. Go on.”

Luke leaned against the counter. “If you already know all that, there doesn’t seem to be much point in me saying it.”

“It’s different with Emma. I was already in love with her when we started this, you were right about that. I couldn’t end things before I had feelings because the feelings were already there. And I couldn’t leave before she left me because she had already done that too, eight years ago. Who’s to say she wouldn’t do that again? If I hadn’t broken things off. If...if we got married, had babies.” Christ. The thought of it made him ache with longing. He shook his head and soldiered through. “And then I do something to piss her off, or she maybe she’s just had enough. Whatever. She leaves. I couldn’t take that.”

Luke looked at him.

Eli held up his hand. “I know what you’re going to say. Emma isn’t my mom. She doesn’t have some secret family stashed somewhere. She’s not going to leave me just because my mom did.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

That was disappointing. A small part of him had hoped Luke might actually be able to talk some sense into him, to make it okay for him to be with Emma. “You weren’t?”

“No.” He swallowed another mouthful of lasagna. “I don’t think Emma has the temperament to pull off a secret family, so you’re probably safe there. And, yeah, she’s grown up a bit since she was twenty, and you’re not planning to arrest her dad any time soon. But she left you once and maybe she’ll do it again. I’m not going to stand here and tell you otherwise, because how the hell would I know? But I do know this.” Luke braced his hands on the countertop and leaned in. “You’re not your dad.”

Eli blinked. “What?”