‘You never told me how you got here,’ I said, a feeble attempt to force my mind away from such thoughts. ‘How’d you find Bane in the first place?’
‘Wasn’t hard,’ Aberdeen replied. ‘He was docked in the quay, preparing to depart. I found his crew in a tavern and managed to persuade them to take me along.’
Unease settled in the pit of my stomach. ‘Persuade them? How?’
Aberdeen’s tawny skin pinked, a flush creeping up her high cheekbones. ‘I won a place among them. Turns out I have quite a knack for cards.’
I gaped at her. Cold, quiet Aberdeen. My proud, sleek-haired sister, playing cards with pirates. All for me.
‘You gambled?’ I spluttered.
‘I won,’ she amended, a small smile tugging at her lips. ‘Anyhow – I found my way on to his ship. Bane told me he’d seen you; that the Heartless King’s crew had their hooks in you. I didn’t want to believe it – swore it couldn’t be true, until I set foot on that ship. Saw it in your eyes. In his, too, if you can even call them that.’
I didn’t have to ask who she meant. It hurt to hear, to know that whatever Sebastien and I had was real enough to exist outside of us, to be seen. At least once, before we lost it.
A lump, hot like coal, formed in the centre of my chest. ‘If you thought I was dead, then why did you even go to Bray?’
Aberdeen’s silver-blue eyes flared like molten steel in the sunrise. ‘You’re my sister.’
I swallowed, glancing down at my hands curled in my lap. My eyes burned. Aberdeen wasn’t carved from stone like I’d always thought; she was flesh and blood and heartache, too.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I murmured.
She grimaced at the emotion in my words. ‘Don’t be. I never should have let you go.’
‘You couldn’t have stopped me.’
‘I could have tried harder.’
I offered her a small shrug. ‘And then where would we be? Still hungry, still hidden from the world.’
‘Guess so,’ Aberdeen said, settling back against the steps.
‘Though if you’d just told me the truth from the start—’
‘Don’t,’ she cut me off, lips pursed. ‘Father and I were only ever trying to protect you.’
‘I never asked for protection.’ A traitorous crack formed in my words. ‘All I wanted was your love.’
‘I always loved you,’ she said quietly, gaze fixed on the horizon. ‘You shut me out.’
‘I shut you out?’ I cried. ‘You were always so . . . distant.’
‘I was scared,’ Aberdeen admitted. ‘You never had a clue the danger you were in.’
I felt my cheeks burn. I’d always done whatever I could to soften the burden on my eldest sister’s shoulders, but apparently it hadn’t been enough. She’d been taken from one mother for Felicie’s sake, then lost another because of me.
‘You’re sure it wasn’t just because you disliked me?’ I joked.
‘Please.’ Aberdeen rolled her eyes. ‘You were unbearable.’
Indignation swelled in my chest and I opened my mouth to protest.
She laughed, finally looking at me. Dark hairs danced around her face in the breeze. ‘You were! Running around with your head in the clouds, thinking you could save us all.’
I shook my head. ‘I only ever wanted to help.’
Aberdeen gave me a sad smile. ‘I know,’ she conceded. ‘You did more than I ever could have. I suppose you’re braver than I gave you credit for.’