I reached up to touch my face, feeling the smudges of ink and tears on my cheeks. The sea was against us. I should’ve known from the start. Monsters conjured from nightmares, their claws hungry for my flesh. Fire from the deep. What else could’ve brought a civilisation to its knees but the love of a god?
Don’t come back.
Sebastien’s words had haunted me since I’d left. Now I understood why he’d taken that book from me – why he’d been so afraid to show me the truth. Because if I’d known, if I’d understood the extent of his pain, his sacrifice, I might never have left.
I buried my head into his coat, pressed my palms to my eyes – because even the sight of shadows was too much – and let the quiet sobs wrack me.
They need me, cried a voice in the back of my head. But my family needed me, too. I thought of Father in chains, of Felicie, and every reason I was there to begin with.
Why? I wanted to scream at the sky. Why do I have to choose?
Sebastien and Aron and Golde had suffered for so long, for centuries, and now . . . Now it was almost over. Less than three months, Aron had said, when the leaves were halfway brown and the skies still dipped in blue. Almost three months ago, he’d said that.
Now I knew what those words meant, the curse they called into being. No wonder my crew were so determined to throw themselves into the path of danger. Facing Bane was hardly a risk if eternal damnation awaited them either way. Two days, Golde had said. The bastard knows.
Bane had chosen the solstice for a reason, knowing his enemy would only have hours to live. Coward. But if they could break the curse . . . if I could just get to them in time—
I raced for the door, wrenching it open and hurtling out on to the deck. Finally, I understood. Everything clicked into place at the exact moment it fell apart. This vendetta against Bane wasn’t the only thing they cared about. It was the only thing they could control. One final attempt to feel free, before eternity swallowed them whole.
Rain and sea spray whipped against me as the ship rode through the storm. I didn’t know how I could help, if any part of me was strong enough to break a centuries-old curse, to make a heartless man love me, but I had to try. I couldn’t lose them. Not to Bane, not to the sea.
A single sailor stood at the helm, her weather-beaten hands clutching the wheel. She turned when I appeared behind her, struggling to catch my breath.
‘Turn the ship around,’ I cried, the wind whipping my hair wildly around my face. How frantic I must’ve looked – how desperate. ‘I need you to take me back.’
The sailor’s eyes widened, catching the moonlight. ‘Your Highness . . .’
I shrank back from the title. It was hollow, ill-fitting. Unwanted. ‘Whatever my sister told you, we have to go back,’ I said. ‘A detour. Whale Rock – do you know it?’
The woman nodded, looking bewildered. Still, her hands on the wheel didn’t move.
I looked up at what I could see of the stars. Struggling to remember what I knew of navigation, trying to place myself amidst the endless sky, to work out which way would lead me home. But the stars pointed us wrong.
‘We’re heading north,’ I realised aloud, my heart thudding in my chest. I looked to the sailor at the wheel. ‘We’re going the wrong way,’ I told her slowly, still trying to piece things together. The capital was south. Father and Felicie were south. There was nothing north of here but cliffs . . .
Aberdeen would have known – would have noticed. Where was she taking me?
‘Aurelia!’
My head snapped around to see my sister standing on the threshold of the quarterdeck, dark hair wild around her face, boots unlaced. Her eyes darted between the two of us, my heavy breathing, her helmswoman’s hesitant posture.
For a moment, the rain drumming on wood was the only sound.
‘I’m going back,’ I told her quietly, resolutely.
‘You are not.’ Aberdeen’s eyes narrowed on me. ‘I told you, Father and Felicie are in danger. Why would you ever want to go back?’
I took a steadying breath, trying to calm my racing heart. Trying to make a shred of sense of all this. ‘If they’re really in danger,’ I said slowly. ‘Then why are you taking me in the opposite direction?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Aberdeen said, sounding flustered. ‘You can’t go back to that ship. To those monsters.’
My heart throbbed in my chest. Aching, begging. ‘Either you tell me what’s going on or I swear, I’ll swim back.’ I had to see them again – see him . . . If I could find a way to break the curse, maybe I could stop them from throwing themselves into battle, stop them from thinking a quick death – an easy way out – was the best they could hope for. ‘I need to see them,’ I said, my voice rising. ‘I’m not asking for forever, I just need a little more time.’
Aberdeen swept the damp hair back from her face. ‘I should’ve known,’ she muttered, eyes darkening. ‘Bane was right. They corrupted you.’
My hands curled into fists. ‘Nobody corrupted—’
A wave of ice washed over me. A cold, deadly realisation. It sank in slowly, every part of me resisting, saying that it was impossible. I could scarcely speak over the anger that constricted my lungs, my heart, my voice.