Page 86 of A Curse of Salt

I waited for him to finish, but he never did. He tilted his head to admire me and I could’ve sworn, for a moment, his eyes were more stars than night sky.

Sebastien shook his head. ‘I should’ve let you go the moment you told me about Whale Rock.’

‘Maybe,’ I admitted. It would’ve made this easier. But I didn’t have the strength to be angry. Not when all the secrets, all the frustration, all the fighting, had led us here.

‘I want . . .’ Sebastien began, his head bowed to mine. ‘Gods, Ria, I wish—’

‘What?’ I took his hand and pressed it to my chest, wishing my heart could beat enough for the both of us.

He swallowed. ‘Never mind. What do you want?’

Tears slipped down my cheeks. The moon, the stars, the sea; it all paled in comparison to him. I remembered our deal. No more secrets. No matter the cost.

‘I want to stay.’

My voice broke, and with it, a thousand promises – to my family, my future, myself.

There was a long pause, a stretch of silence and the solitary thunder of my heart.

‘Don’t say that,’ Sebastien murmured, stroking my cheeks with his battle-hardened thumbs. ‘Don’t ask to stay, because I’m selfish enough to let you.’

‘It’s not your choice,’ I told him. ‘This is my home.’

It was greedy, I knew, to want this life when I had another. When I already had a family, one who no doubt mourned me and suffered somewhere far away. It was the life I’d been given, the only one I deserved.

Sebastien gestured around us. ‘This isn’t home. This is a prison.’

I understood what he meant, what this ship was to him. Beautiful, but bound to the waves. It was all he’d ever wanted, to go home.

‘Tell me,’ I said, stepping closer. ‘Tell me what happened to your kingdom, your people. Why did the sea take them?’

Sebastien drew in a great breath, steeling himself. Whatever he was about to say, I knew it would answer everything. Everything. My hands curled tight around his shirt collar, ready to pull the answers out of him.

‘I was eleven years old,’ he said slowly. ‘My father was a brutal man. He . . . I watched him hurt my mother for the last time that day. I was too late to save her – so I killed him. I thought it was vengeance, but all I did was make myself an echo of him, make the seas redder.

‘Nerida felt betrayed by the way we’d turned on one another. She was always distrustful of mankind, but our people were sworn to keep her safe. We proved her right not to believe in us.’

Sebastien broke off, his words bitter. He laid a hand at the base of my neck, fingers trembling against my skin. He sighed, and went on. ‘In one fell swoop, I became a killer and a king. The sea wanted to take it all back, to drown my kingdom, deny us a place in her world. I swore I could change things, that I’d become the king my people deserved. Nerida gave me a decade to prove her wrong, to show that she hadn’t been a fool to entrust us with her tides. But I failed – or so she said. I gave up my heart for another chance to save my people, but . . . it doesn’t matter. Even if I could break the curse, I can’t go home without a heart. I can’t rule them like this.’

I stroked a hand over his cheek, reaching for his brow, wishing I could ease the pain from it, from him. ‘But you can,’ I insisted. ‘You rule now – you have a fleet who follow you. A crew who loves you. You’ve always been a king.’

He shook his head. ‘It isn’t the same, blackbird. Our people are – were – guardians of the ocean. I became a profiteer, driven by anger and spite and the blood I knew I could never wash from my hands.’ His voice broke, springing heat behind my eyes. ‘I don’t want them to see me like this.’

I swallowed. ‘But the curse – you can break it? You could go home, somehow?’

The furrow between his eyebrows deepened and he averted his gaze.

‘No more secrets,’ I reminded him.

‘Aye,’ Sebastien murmured, his voice burdened by an eternity. ‘I was . . . You were right. I’m a coward.’

My heart sped up. ‘So, how do we do it?’

‘There’s nothing to be done, blackbird,’ he said, his shoulders sagging. ‘In order to break it, to save them . . . I’d need to do something I’m not capable of. I’d need to love.’

Love. Of course that was the answer. But without a heart . . .

I held his stare, understanding at last. Seeing Sebastien for what he was, underneath it all: a boy, with a night sky in his eyes that I ached to fill with stars. I watched him cave beneath the light of my gaze, feeling his breath against my cheek, and my reservations went with him, crumbling.

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