Sebastien’s smirk twisted and I had to force my gaze from his lips. ‘You giving me war counsel now, blackbird?’
‘I’m just saying—’
‘Your concern is flattering, but if Bane’s death is the last thing I ever give my crew, I’ll be satisfied. I won’t drag any more lives into it.’
I clenched my jaw tight. So he was admitting they might not win. He’d lead them all into a losing battle and be the only one to come out unscathed. ‘And me?’ I asked. ‘I know it’s selfish to wonder, when my life might be the only one he spares, but . . .’
‘I won’t let him take you,’ Sebastien said, as if he could read my thoughts.
I snorted. ‘Nerida may have bestowed her magic upon you, but you can hardly stop an army.’
He shrugged, shoulder nudging mine as he leaned further over the railing, staring down at the crew as they danced and drank. ‘You don’t think I’d at least try?’
I hesitated. ‘Why would you bother?’
Sebastien turned slowly to face me again. ‘That’s a good question.’
His tone was flat, but when I met his gaze, there was something almost uncertain in it, something curious.
He thought I’d been trying to escape. I almost wished I had. When the world had caught fire, I should have fled, because how terrifying, to trust that this place could ever offer me freedom? To trust the Heartless King . . .
I had to. If I was ever going to make it home, I had to trust that Sebastien would get me there. That, for whatever reason, he’d keep his word and protect me.
‘Tell me something,’ I ventured softly.
Once again, I expected him to protest, but his quizzical expression faded as he tilted his head. ‘What do you want to know?’
For once, my mind didn’t churn with a thousand questions. I didn’t want to know about Bane, or the Sinking Cities, or the past. This was part of no bargain. This was Sebastien, offering a piece of himself to me.
My gaze traced the path of his neck up to his black, whirlpool eyes. ‘The hood,’ I began, my words catching. ‘Why did you wear it? What good did it ever do to hide?’
The ridge of his throat shifted as he swallowed. I didn’t know if he was going to answer – didn’t think he knew, either – but I held my breath, waiting.
He looked away, squinting over my shoulder at the blurred grey line of the horizon. It was almost impossible to distinguish where the sea ended and the sky began.
‘Easier, isn’t it?’ he said, words stirring from the gravel of his voice. ‘Not to be seen. Really could’ve been a monster under that cloak – no one would’ve known the difference.’
I hadn’t been expecting such raw honesty. I curled my hands around the railing, forcing myself not to reach out and touch him. What he’d said was real, but it didn’t make him any less the beast he’d tried to hide.
His eyes shifted from the watercolour horizon to me, to my hands. ‘Or,’ he went on, dipping his head closer, ‘maybe I just look good in black.’
A ribbon of laughter burst out of me before I could snatch it back. I flushed, biting my lip to hide a smile.
Sebastien inched closer and my eyes fell to his chest, his loose shirt revealing a glimpse of the bandages beneath. A reminder that he walked with the burden of his actions. That he was, in fact, human. The soft grey material was streaked with splashes of rain, light as the cloudy sky against his bronze skin.
He cleared his throat and my eyes flickered up, blush deepening. Subtle.
‘Will I see you at dinner?’
I held his inky, expectant gaze, my pulse quickening at the thought. It’d been two weeks since we’d dined alone together and so much had changed. He’d sworn he wouldn’t, but he had changed. That, or I really was as naïve as he thought. He?d been hiding, yes, but now he wasn?t. Now he was sharing himself with me, promising me protection. As though he almost . . . cared.
I stepped back. Killing a monster was hard enough, but caring for one . . . I already had people – good people – to care about, to protect. I couldn’t let the Heartless King get in the way of that.
‘I don’t––’ I began quietly. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
Sebastien’s brows drew together over his smouldering gaze, but he watched me go in silence as I hurried back towards the forecastle, eager to put as much distance between us as I could.
Inside, two figures stood further along the hall, something tender in the way their heads were bent close, despite the space between their bodies.