Page 8 of Amethyst

Indeed, her parents kept it a secret until now. Apparently she’s been through a year of therapy and a lot of healing.

I’m thankful for that.

I can’t imagine what she’s been through…

No.

That’s a lie.

Icanimagine it. I have a very vivid imagination, and if Derek Wolf weren’t already dead, I’d kill him with my own bare hands. Make him suffer for harming Jenna.

I wipe the thought from my mind, or I try to, anyway. I can’t go there. Can’t think of Jenna in that situation.

I stare at the wreath on the door—a harvest wreath made of twigs and mini pumpkins and resin turkeys. Thanksgiving was last week. Susanna hasn’t changed her decorations yet. Completely understandable, given Jenna’s homecoming.

Mimi has already turned her place—soon to beourplace—into a holiday paradise. A little—okay, a lot—overdone for my tastes, but Mimi enjoys the holidays. A ten foot evergreen with neon flashing lights and a life-sized dancing Santa are the focal pieces. I haven’t decorated since I’m supposed to move in with her soon.

Which I’ve been putting it off. Part of me doesn’t want to give up my man cave.

I draw in a breath, trying to slow my heart as it threatens to beat right out of my chest.

What will I feel when I see Jenna?

I left her in the past long ago, and after four years of one-night stands and meaningless sex, I decided it was time to look for an actual relationship. Mimi and I met online, and we hit it off at our first coffee date. Within a month, she told me she loved me, so I said it back.

Indeed, I felt it.

I feel it still.

But my feelings for Mimi lack the depth of what I felt for Jenna all those years ago. I told myself that was normal. I was a high-school kid and I didn’t know what real love was. That I was fooled all those years ago. Fooled by our impending graduation, and I was looking for something concrete to take with me as I moved into the next phase of my life. That’s all it was. My best friend for fifteen years suddenly became everything I ever thought I wanted.

But it was ultimately an illusion.

Even then, the words felt like lies, but it didn’t matter, really, because Jenna was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

I draw in another deep breath and pat my side pocket, gripping the outline of the velvet box.

The amethyst pendant that I bought for Jenna. I was going to give it to her after prom when I confessed my love. I kept it all these years, buried in my sock drawer. I could never give it to Mimi or anyone else, and though I could’ve returned it for a refund, I never did.

I couldn’t part with it. I always knew it was meant for Jenna, and I still think it is. So I’ll give it to her. Then I’ll walk quietly away, back to my life with Mimi.

Because that’s who I am now.

One more deep breath, and I knock on the door.

A dog barks. When the door opens, Susanna Holland stands there, looking more weathered than when I last saw her, which I’m ashamed to say was probably five years ago now. Her sandy hair is more silver than brown now, and crow’s feet mar the corners of her eyes.

Still, she’s pretty. She always was. She and my mother, Harriet, were never close friends, only thrown together because of Jenna and me. My mom is gorgeous. She was a model when she was in her early twenties, but Susanna Holland is an easier pretty. That’s what I always thought, anyway, in my pre-teen vernacular.

“Max.” Susanna smiles. Sort of. “Come in.”

I step inside. The dog—a black Labrador Retriever—jumps up on me.

“Lexi, no!”

“It’s okay. I love dogs.” I lean down and scratch Lexi’s soft ears.

“Yes, I remember. Lexi is still a pup trapped inside a full-size dog. We’ve only had her for about a year. After Lucy died, we had a hard time. She was a link to Jenna, and we couldn’t replace her right away.”

---