Page 45 of Amethyst

16

JENNA

“You said if I had someone I trust, I could try having sex,” I tell my therapist, Dr. Michaels, after describing the flashback I endured in Max’s bathroom.

“I did, and you chose your friend.”

“Yes. And now I just feel…”

“How? How do you feel?”

“Empty.”

“Are you saying you didn’t enjoy it?”

“Not at all. Ididenjoy it. I… I had a climax.” My cheeks warm.

Dr. Michaels grins. “That’s wonderful.”

“It was. I never even imagined what it could be like. I wasn’t expecting it. It crept up on me. And you were right. When you said I’d know if it happened. I definitely knew.”

“Your first orgasm after being through so much physical abuse. That’s something to celebrate, Jenna. Why are you feeling empty?”

“The problem wasn’t the act itself. I enjoyed it so much, and Max was amazing, as I knew he would be.” I squirm at the tickle between my legs that the memory rouses in me. “So caring, so willing to do exactly what I needed. I thought everything would be okay, until I looked into the mirror.”

“And that’s when you had the flashback.”

I nod, gulping.

“What happened after that?”

“I must’ve fainted or fallen. I’m not exactly sure. But Max came to me of course. He tried to help, but all I could do was run. Just run.

“I think, Jenna, it may be time to stop running.”

“You’re right. But all we did on the island was run.” My heart races. “That’s what we were told to do. It was a hunting ground, and the men wanted us to run, so they could catch us.”

“So your first instinct was to run. But perhaps this time youwantto get caught.”

I widen my eyes. “Why would you say that? None of us ever wanted to get caught.”

“You’re not on the island any longer, Jenna. What exactly do you feel for this man?”

“He’s my best friend. Since we were four years old. I love him.”

“You love him. Are youinlove with him?”

Again my jaw drops. “I… I never thought I was in love with him.”

“Sometimes love pops up in unlikely places.”

“How would I even know?”

“Tell me. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“Like I trust him. Like he’s my safe place. Like he would do anything for me and I would do anything for him.”

“Are you attracted to him?”

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