Page 20 of Amethyst

That gets a smile out of him. “Yeah. I think we both turned out okay.”

“Do you?” I attempt to be coy.

“Of course, Jen. You’re beautiful. You were always beautiful to me.”

“Always?”

He laughs. “You were the most important person in my life. Your beauty went far beyond what’s visible.”

“So you’re saying I haven’t always beenvisiblybeautiful.” I punch his upper arm lightly.

“Jenna, you know exactly what I’m trying to say.” His voice is solemn.

I touch his stubble again, and is it my imagination, or does he lean into my hand a bit?

“What did you want to ask me?”

“Since you think I’m beautiful, I’m hoping you’ll do me a favor.” I swallow, trying to gather all the courage I need. I clear my throat. “I need to learn how to be physical again. Would you consider…having sex with me?”

7

MAX

My jaw drops, and before I can completely process what Jenna just said to me, she gasps and clamps her hand over her mouth.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Max. How selfish of me. You’reengaged. I can’t believe I just asked you to cheat on your fiancée. What is wrong with me?” She turns and then looks over her shoulder. “Please forgive me.” She runs inside.

I stand, and for a moment I’m not sure where I am. Or who I am. The whole world is one big fucking blur.

Jenna Holland just asked me to have sex with her.

Then of course she took it back, but she doesn’t know that Mimi and I are over—over because of my feelings forher.

But she’s not asking me to make love to her. She’s not asking me to love her at all. She’s asking me for sex, but why?

I walk inside. Lexi follows me with the tennis ball lodged in her mouth.

“Jen?”

Susanna stands at the sink scrubbing a cast iron pan. “She probably went up to her room. Is everything okay between you two?”

“Yeah. We’re fine. She’s just a little embarrassed about something that happened, but she doesn’t need to be.”

“Go on up and see if you can work it out,” Susanna says. “Jenna needs you, Max. We all do.”

I nod briskly, walk up the staircase, and knock on Jenna’s door, which is open, but not enough that I can see inside.

“Jen, let me in.”

A few seconds pass, and then she appears at the door.

Jenna’s crying. God, crying, and my heart shatters like a glass breaking on a tile floor.

“I’m so sorry, Max. That was so thoughtless of me. So self-absorbed of me. I was thinking only ofmyneeds, and I apologize.”

“Hey, no apologies. You have every right to be thinking about your needs. Your needs were neglected for many years.”

“Except I can’t think like that, you know?” She sniffles and wipes a tissue over her eyes. “Otherwise those years will color my whole life, and I don’t want that. I want a good life, Max. Think of how lucky I am. Think of how many women disappear each year and never come home again.”

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