Page 73 of New Day at the Beach House

He shrugged. “Maybe that’s just because you hadn’t tried surfing yet.”

“Yeah, maybe.” She adjusted her purse on her lap. “I like thinking of myself as a surfer. It makes me feel like I could do anything. Sort of like…” She tried to explain what was going on inside her. “Like I’m a different person than I thought I was, I just never realized it. Getting this job at Future Florida is part of that, too. It’s as if I’ve only just now appreciated what I’m capable of. Weird, right?”

“Not weird,” he said. “First of all, being in the water, especially salt water, can alter your brain’s whole setup. See, there’s all of these ions in the air when you’re at the beach, and they promote a very different way of thinking.”

“For real?”

“Seriously. Look it up. But that aside, you did something today that a lot of people will never do. And I’m not just talking about surfing. You took a chance, and you conquered some fear. That levels you up as a human being. It builds character.”

She nodded. “I suppose you’re right.” A question came into her mind. “What was it like the first time you went into a burning building?”

He snorted softly, his eyes focused on the road. “I was terrified.”

By the tone of his voice, she could tell he meant it. “It sounds terrifying. I don’t know how any of you do it.”

“We train for it. And that training is supposed to help with the fear, but being faced with a live situation wasn’t the same. I had a moment where I thought I was going to turn around and just walk away. Our natural instinct isn’t to head toward fire, it’s to go in the opposite direction.”

“But you didn’t. Obviously. How did you get through it?”

“I reminded myself that I was there because I wanted to be. That I knew it was going to be hard, but it was what I’d chosen to do. In that case, we had two people unaccounted for. The longer I stood there, the less likely they were to be saved.”

Kat realized she was holding her breath. She let it go. “That had to be an awful feeling.”

He nodded, his eyes holding a darkness that looked like memories. “I put one foot in front of the other and before I knew it, I was inside. My commander yelled for me, and it was like that was all it took for my training to kick in. I went into action.”

“You weren’t afraid anymore?”

He laughed. “No, I was still terrified, but I was able to push that fear down enough to do my job.”

She was almost afraid to ask the next question. “Are you still afraid?”

“Yeah,” he said solemnly. “I am. I think the moment a firefighter stops being afraid is the moment they start being reckless. Fire is like a living, breathing thing. You have to respect it, or it will kill you.”

A lump formed in her throat. She swallowed it down before reaching out and putting her hand on his arm, needing to touch him. “I hope nothing ever happens to you. I don’t think I’d deal with that very well.”

He gave her a quick look and smiled. “I don’t take chances, I promise.”

“Good.” But she knew that just because he was careful didn’t mean he might not get hurt. Her thoughts went in all different directions, not all of them good. She looked out the window and prayed that neither Alex nor Miles would ever get hurt. Or any of the crew at the firehouse.

Alex pulled into her driveway and got out to get her door. As he opened it, and she climbed out, a familiar voice called out to her.

“You’re dating?”

She looked in the direction of the voice and saw Ray stumbling out from underneath the beach house where the shadows were the thickest. She stared at him in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

Alex stood in front of her and a little off to the side. Over his shoulder, he said, “Who is this guy?”

“My ex-fiancé,” Kat answered. She sighed as she looked around. There was no sign of his car. He must have parked further up the street so she wouldn’t see it. “Seriously, Ray, you shouldn’t be here.”

Ray took a few more unsteady steps toward her. “You haven’t answered my texts or my calls.”

Because she’d blocked his number. “We have nothing to say to each other. And you seem drunk.”

“Of course I’m drunk,” he said. “I’m miserable. You broke my heart.”

Kat took a breath and tried to stay calm. “Ray, you slept with one of your nurses. And I caught you. In my bed. If you want to place blame, you need to look at yourself.”

Ray jabbed a finger at her. “You did this to us. You and all your…your…indecision.”

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