Helena gave me a wary glance before she turned toward Laverne. “I can help.”
“No. You’ve been at it all day. We’ve got it.”
“I could use a shower.” Helena smoothed her hand over her hair, lifting the ends to look down at them.
“You do that, sweetheart.” Laverne gave me a hard look then she bustled off with Cara nearly sprinting to keep up with her.
“Would a shower help with that hair?”
She whirled on me. “What’s wrong with my hair? I like it.”
“It’s not you.” My hands fisted at my sides. It was still her. Just not the her I’d fallen in love with, dammit.
Love.
In days.
It didn’t make sense, but there was no way it could be anything else. Why else would I ache just staring at her, knowing I’d hurt her earlier. Her mouth was still pinched and her shoulders hunched before suddenly, she shot them back.
Her perfect handful breasts pushed at the rust-colored dress she was wearing. The dresses that were forever driving me crazy. And the memories of slipping under them to find her warm and wet for me.
I wanted a lifetime of that.
A lifetime of her. Darker hair or not.
“Well, you don’t know me very well, do you? It could be me. Anewme.”
“I don’t care.”
She stormed over to me on the edges of the garden. “You don’t care! Is that what you have to say after this afternoon?” She tipped her head back and the earthy scents of my orchard mixed with her shampoo and soothing lavender perfume made me more than a little dizzy. “I didn’t deserve any of that crap you laid on me today.”
She stabbed me in the chest. For once, we both had soil on our hands.
Even in her finery and with her new hair, she’d been playing in the dirt.Mydirt. My land and my gardens. That she obviously loved it just as much as I did.
I backed up with each poke.
“I’m certainly not ashamed to be a part of this orchard and your family.” Her eyes shone bright. “Even if it’s just a few days, they’ve been the best days of my life. And you can’t ruin it.”
“I can’t?”
“No. I don’t know what the hell got into you earlier. In fact, until you said that, I would have said you’re one of the best men I know. And now you’re just like all the rest.”
I grabbed her finger and flattened her hand against my chest. “I’m not like the rest.” I spun her around and crowded her into one of the tall Honeycrisp trees. The light pink blossoms that had blown off in the last storm littered around us.
Her huge golden eyes were shiny in the dim light from a nearby tree.
“I’m an idiot.”
She opened her mouth, then she quietly shut it.
I lowered my head and the brim of my hat bumped against her. I whipped it off and tossed it aside. “I’m sorry. I was angry and you didn’t deserve it.” I gripped the trunk of the tree to cage her in. “I don’t have an excuse. Everything is slipping and sliding away from me.”
She gripped my arm. “Beckett—”
“Because I’m holding too tightly. Because ever since you got on my horse, I’ve seen where the cracks are.”
She searched my face. “I don’t want to cause you pain.”