Page 46 of The Lie of Us

My lips parted as his tongue slid along the seam of my mouth. I sighed and he swallowed the sound as his tongue moved with mine. He was drawing my soul from my body, draining the oxygen from my lungs. He was devouring me in the softest, most tender manner possible.

Abruptly, he pulled away, his hand cupping the side of my face as he rested his forehead against mine. “Winter, Winter, Winter…” His breath was warm as it skated across my face. “The things you do to me.”

A ragged breath escaped me as I struggled to regain composure. He had crawled back inside my heart, where he once resided. Malakai Barclay was finally home.

“I’m going to take you home now.” He whispered the words softly as he lifted his lips to my forehead. They were soft against my skin and my eyes closed as I breathed him in. “I want to be a gentleman tonight but I make no promises for behaving that way in the future.”

“What if I don’t want you to be a gentleman?” I challenged him as he released me and moved back into his seat.

One corner of his lips lifted and he shook his head. “My sincerest apologies, darling. You may be the one who possesses me. You may be the one who has the ability to blur the thoughts in my brain. I’m asking you to please let me have some self-control and take you home.”

His tone was light but as he continued, he grew tense. I cocked my head to the side as he put his car in reverse without another word and backed out onto the road. He shifted back into drive and we began the short drive back to my house.

“What are you so afraid of?”

Kai was silent as he punched in the code and we watched the gates open. Silence enveloped us and I was internally conflicted. I didn’t want to push him. I wanted to respect his wishes, yet I felt like I was at a loss. It was as if we took a leap forward, only to be suspended in air by some unspoken fear.

He put his car in park as he pulled up in front of my house and left the engine running as he climbed out. I sat with my hands in my lap as he walked over and opened the door for me. His hand was warm and soft as he held it out for me and I slid mine into his while he helped me out of the car. Kai didn’t let go and his fingers were laced within mine as we got to the porch.

I paused, suddenly feeling anxious under his gaze. It was unreadable and my eyes bounced back and forth between his as I tried to pinpoint the emotion he was feeling.

“I’m afraid of doing this wrong, Winter. I’m afraid of messing this up.”

Minutes had passed from when I asked him what he was afraid of to him finally formulating a response. It caught me off guard and I closed the distance between us as I stepped closer to him. Instinctively, I pressed my free hand against his chest, resting it just over his heart.

“None of this will be easy, but I believe in you. I believe in us.”

He released my hand and brought them both up to cup the sides of my face. “I will prove to you that I am worthy of your love, even if I don’t truly believe I am.” He paused for a moment, his lips gently pressing against mine before he pulled away slightly. “I will spend the rest of my life earning your forgiveness.”

I tilted my head to the side ever so slightly. “You don’t have to earn that, Kai. I chose to forgive you because we have both suffered enough from our choices in the past. I’m choosing for things to be different.”

Kai’s eyes slid back and forth between mine once before his mouth was back on mine. There was nothing gentle about the way he kissed me now. There was urgency, need, and desperation behind his movements. It felt as though he was going to burrow himself deep inside my skin. I would have gladly given him every single piece of me. Whatever he wanted, I was his for the taking.

I was so lost in him, in the moment between us. His hands were in my hair, mine were clutching his shoulders. He was kissing me senseless, devouring me with his lips. His tongue slid against mine, tangling together in their own dance. Kai was consuming me and I was quite certain I would drown in him without a moment's hesitation.

Abruptly, he pulled away, leaving both of us breathless as we came up for air. “I need to go, Winter.” His voice was hoarse and rough.

“Come inside with me,” I said breathlessly.

He let out a sharp breath. “Let me do this right, please?”

I pulled back, just enough to look into his eyes. There was a mixture of torment and lust burning brightly inside his irises. His jaw was set and his fingers dug into my skin. He wanted me—that much was clear—but I had to let him do this his way.

“Good night, Kai,” I said as I lifted myself on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss. As I moved away, it looked like he was at war with himself internally. He didn’t say another word as he watched me disappear into the house.

Shutting the door behind me, I pressed my back against it and brought my fingers to my lips as I slowly slid down onto the floor. I couldn’t fight the smile as I replayed the night in my mind. I didn’t want to get my hopes up because if you had hope, you had something to lose.

And I had something to lose now…

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

MALAKAI

As I waited outside the clubhouse, I saw Nico pull into the parking lot. I was loading my bag and arranging my clubs as he came walking over to the cart. He texted me yesterday evening after my date with Winter and asked if I wanted to golf today. I was trying to be a little more of a people person, even though I didn’t particularly care to be around anyone but Winter.

I knew I needed to put some type of distance between the two of us. There was an intensity between us that was completely unmatched. It was consuming and threatened to suck us into its dark depths. It wasn’t something I wanted to fight against, but I also didn’t want it to be too much, too soon for her.

I would gladly be sucked into its depths with no way of ever seeing the light again, as long as it meant I had her by my side.

---