Page 79 of A Dream of Stars and Curses

I don’t know how long I sit like that, but eventually the tears stop, my body stills, and I feel strong enough to stand. I lean against the shower walls as I gingerly wash the blood off my neck. I do everything with one hand so the other can keep contact with the wall. There’s no handle or rail or anything, but it makes me feel steadier. I know it’s stupid. I still hold on.

The steam has just about softened the blood, so by the time I feel ready to wash it properly, a lot of it has already run down my neck and mingled with the water. The real challenge is the bite marks. They hurt. I take a deep breath and lightly touch one, because I’m curious and because I want to prove to myself that I’m strong enough for it. I hiss when fresh pain shoots down my neck, and let my hand fall away.

‘You’re okay,’ Mischief says. ‘Chiara isn’t here. She’ll never hurt you again.’

I swallow and take a moment to calm my breathing. Leverett threatened her, and she seemed plenty freaked out after I somehow used magic on her. Good thing she doesn’t know I can’t control it, but even so, Leverett threatened her. For me. He came for me. He and Kate both did. Bonnie came home for me. Even the dogs did their best to nurse me.

I realise with a strangled sob that I lied before. I’m not alright. But though I may always be scarred, I’ll also always know that I made it through, and even Chiara can’t take that away from me.

I feel better when I towel-dry myself and get into clean clothes. I didn’t pick anything special when I brought a few things over, but I don’t want anything special, either. The loose trousers and too-big shirt are perfect. It’s comfort, just what I need.

I close my eyes. ‘Thank you.’

I know Mischief knows I mean her, because I feel her soft fur around my leg again. She was there when I desperately needed someone—first in the basement, and again just now in the shower. I almost don’t care how it works, I’m only grateful that it does.

‘Let’s discuss what to do about this boggart, hmm?’ she purrs in my head. ‘And then let’s take a week off from the attempts on your life.’

Thanks to her, I can chuckle at it.

‘Yes. Let’s.’

I go back into the garden, where our dogs have found a shady spot under Kate’s willow tree. My friends are still sitting around the table. They all look up as one, but it’s Bonnie who hurries over to me and carefully takes me into her arms.

‘I’m sorry we fought,’ she says. ‘We’ll never do it again, okay?’

Tears burn my eyes again, but I blink them away. I’m not against crying and think it can be incredibly healing, but right now I need a breather from it. I’m ready to move on.

So, I hug her back. I only wince a little when the wound stings. ‘I’m sorry, too. Can you forgive me?’

She playfully slaps me. ‘Nonsense. We were both idiots, so there’s nothing to forgive.’

I nod. Together, we join the others. Leverett gives me a heavy look full of unsaid things. I need to talk to him, too, but first we have a boggart to pacify. I don’t want anything influencing us except our own judgment.

‘How long was I gone?’ I ask as I sit.

‘We came as soon as we could,’ Kate says. ‘I reminded Leverett that we’d be foolish to rush after you without a plan, so you were there a few hours longer than we wanted. Chiara took you in the early hours of yesterday morning. We had you home by early afternoon. It’s Sunday now.’

It felt so much longer, but I’m not complaining. I’m glad they didn’t waste time, that they took a moment to discuss how to find me, how to get me out, that Kate made her medicine.

‘Thank you,’ I say again.

‘How is your neck?’ Kate asks. ‘I’m preparing a salve and a tea for you, but there’s another ingredient we need your approval for.’

‘It hurts.’ I want to ask Leverett if that’s normal. All the dreams I’ve had of him biting me and it being the best, hottest thing ever seem beyond naïve now. But didn’t he say something once about how a vampire’s bite is like any other touch? That it can hurt or feel good? I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to test that theory now. ‘What do you need my okay for?’

Kate and Leverett exchange a glance before his eyes fix on mine.

‘I’ve no doubt that Kate’s medicines will do wonders for you. There is, however, one thing that might speed up your healing even more.’

Kate nods. ‘Vampire blood has incredible healing properties.’ I pale. ‘I was the one who suggested it. Leverett wouldn’t agree without your consent.’

Bonnie frowns at them both and sits closer to me. ‘How can you suggest that, after everything that monster did to her?’

‘You need to see it like any other ingredient,’ Kate says. ‘In the tea, it’ll be no different than the herbs or the water.’

‘I understand your reservations after... everything,’ Leverett says. ‘Even if none of it had happened, you might still see it as a personal matter. We’re suggesting adding a few drops of my blood to something Esta will drink, after all.’

I don’t know who to side with. Leverett once told me that turning a human into a vampire is a risky thing that rarely ends well, but that’s not what he’s suggesting. I trust him; he wouldn’t add so much that it would put me at risk. Being able to do anything without my neck reminding me of Chiara would be nice. But I always thought... I blush. I don’t hate the idea of... But I thought I would, I don’t know, lick it off his chest. But that’s not what this is, either. It’s just an ingredient like any other—Kate said so herself. So really, there’s nothing to think about, is there?

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