Page 63 of A Dream of Stars and Curses

About an hour later, I hear the bathroom door open. Was Bonnie crying or just angrily pacing this whole time? I no longer feel like I have the right to ask. I want to get up, throw myself into her arms, and apologise over and over until we’re okay again, but we both need time to cool off. We’ve both said things we shouldn’t have. A few minutes later, Bonnie sneaks down the stairs. If she sees me on the floor with Lady, she doesn’t say anything. She leaves, and I don’t try to stop her. I’m glad she’s got somewhere to go, though I’ve no idea where.

To think, only a few short days ago my biggest worry was that I might be made redundant. Now I feel like life is making me redundant, and I don’t even have the energy to acknowledge the terrible pun. I’ve lost Leverett, and I know I could just try to be an adult and use his shop as always, but I’m not that deluded. Even if seeing him happy without me wouldn’t hurt too much, it would be so fucking awkward. Bonnie and I have handled every breakup together, but this is the worst one and Bonnie isn’t here for it. Worse, she said I deserve it. That there’s no chance in hell he and I might have worked out. Did she think so from the first time I told her how I felt? She isn’t normally a good liar, and neither am I. Her excitement must have been real, at least in the beginning. Neither of us handles arguments well: Bonnie doesn’t address problems; she storms away from them and slams every door along the way. I, on the other hand, get too overwhelmed with emotions, which is why I couldn’t keep my stupid mouth shut. Why I said all the wrong things. We both hide from our problems in our own ways.

Maybe that’s a sign that our friendship can’t last. We’ve been friends our whole lives, but we’ve never really fought. Not like tonight. Maybe that’s the only reason we’ve been friends this long—we’d rather pretend everything’s fine than confront each other.

And what if I do lose my job? I’d be jobless, best-friend-less, and Leverett-less. I can’t stay with Kate forever, but without a job I’ll have no money, so where would I go? I’d look for a new job, of course, but it’s not like they grow on trees. It could be months or years before I even get an interview.

If this is the universe’s way of throwing me into my photography career, it’s got a cruel sense of irony. I’ve just made peace with not doing the Veiled project. I know there are other things—loads of other things—I could do, but I can’t think of any of them right now. All I know is the warm dog beside me and the uncertainty around her life. And what if Lady really is sick? What if I take her to the vet, and there’s nothing they can do? I hug her tighter. She whines a complaint but doesn’t move. Her whining has always broken my heart a little, but I don’t think it’s ever sounded so weak before. I nudge the untouched food bowl towards her. She ignores it.

Tears burn my eyes. I cry into her neck as I decide to take her to the vet tomorrow. I stay in that position until my tears have dried in her fur, until I don’t feel my limbs anymore, until a key turns in the door.

Without saying anything, Kate helps me sit, then move to the sofa where she wraps a blanket around me. I hate that she found me like this. I mumble something about how Bonnie and I fought, that Bonnie left. It sounds pathetic. How did this happen? How could I let it?

‘Here.’ Kate hands me a steaming cup of tea. It looks like one of those old Victorian tea sets, only this one is black with the moon phases around it. If I were in a better mood, I’d ask her where she got it from. The steam smells vaguely of chamomile and lavender. ‘It’ll help you think clearly and calm down. I can make you another cup of the one that helped you sleep, too.’

I nod, but even that feels like too much effort. ‘Thank you.’

‘Do you have any idea where Bonnie might be?’

I shake my head.

‘I’m sure she’ll come home. Bonnie is a grown-up; she knows what she’s doing.’

I really hope Kate is right.

‘I didn’t mean to come home so late,’ she says, ‘but I forgot the time talking to my friend. He apologises for the slight delay, but he’ll replace the door tomorrow—I think you’ll like the one he’s chosen.’

I’m amazed I have the energy to raise an eyebrow, but something about Kate being here makes me feel better.

She smiles. ‘You’ll see. There’s something else we discussed, too. If you’re up for it, I’d like to ask you a few questions.’

I’m not convinced I’m up for much of anything, but her tea is soothing and I do owe her. A lot.

‘Ask away.’

‘My friend who is replacing your door is very in tune with nature and its spirits. He noticed something odd about your house when he came to measure the door frame.’

A shiver runs up my arms. This again?

‘The smell, you mean?’

Kate nods. ‘It reminded me of the time you came by and felt better as soon as you left your home. Since you’re awake, I’d like to ask you about it now. It’s important.’

I straighten a little. ‘And your friend doesn’t mind you talking about... you know?’

Kate smiles again. ‘Not at all. We talked about you tonight, in fact. The Veiled community is abuzz with the news that someone talked it out with the Dreamcatcher. Depending on who you ask, you’re the woman of a long-awaited prophecy.’

I blush. Anton and Saif said something like that, but I don’t know how much of it to believe. Seems ridiculous that someone like me might have something as grand as that attached to them.

‘I don’t even know this prophecy. What exactly is it saying about me?’

Kate waves me off. ‘Oh, it’s not about you in the sense you think. It doesn’t name you. But for centuries the Veiled have dreamed of the day that they and humanity might get along, of the day they no longer need to hide and can be themselves without fear. Somewhere down the line, their wish turned into a kind of prophecy by default.’

‘So it’s not something an ancient warlock has seen in a dream or anything?’

Kate laughs. ‘No. Nothing so dramatic. Be that as it may, many Veiled believe in this vision and hope for it. Some actively pray for it. Your small victory with the Dreamcatcher and why he sought you out in the first place is enough to kindle their hopes.’

I don’t know how to feel about that. As Kate said, it’s not really a prophecy, more like a shared hope. Much has gone wrong lately, but with this, at least, I can do the right thing and ignore it.

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