Page 48 of A Dream of Stars and Curses

‘I know,’ I say. ‘Let me know if you hear anything?’

I want to tell her that there’s no chance in hell they’ll get rid of her, but they never look at people with these things. They look at numbers and potential savings. It never matters if it ruins anyone’s life, if the person who’s leaving won’t be able to get another job because of age or other factors.

It’s a cold process, and I hate what it could mean for me and Bonnie.

‘I recommend you use a notebook. It will take a while but it works well, and you will have all kinds of personal associations with your deck afterwards. Esta?’

I’m only faintly aware of Kate in my living room. I know I don’t need to worry, but I can’t help thinking about what might happen if I lose my job. Bonnie and I can afford this house, but only just. We both work part-time, and she works fewer hours than I do since she’s still a full-time student, too. She’s not getting paid for her internship and had to take time off work for it. If one of us loses our job, we’ll lose the house—no point in pretending otherwise.

‘Esta?’

My parents would love to have me back, but I really don’t want to move back in with them, and what about Bonnie? Do my parents have room for both of us? She can’t move back in with her mother and brother. They were never really a family; it would be terrible for her. It’s too early for her to move in with Sunny—who I’m still half considering to be a thief—and it’s too soon for me to move in with Leverett. If we were further into our relationships, it’d be another matter, but neither of us can suggest it. There’s still every chance that neither of us will work out, and then we’d be back with the same problem. Maybe we could rent somewhere? It’d be much smaller than this, but we don’t need a lot of space. As long as we can bring Lady, we’d be alright. We only need—

‘Are you listening?’

My head finally shoots up. ‘I’m sorry. I got some bad news earlier.’

Kate’s annoyed expression softens. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Do you need to postpone today’s lesson?’

I straighten and shake my head. ‘I’m good.’

‘I’m glad to hear it. Then please tell me: What’s the last thing I told you?’

‘Erm...’ Damn. I have no idea. Something about my cards and notebooks? I sigh and deflate into my sofa. ‘Sorry. I don’t know.’

The softness leaves Kate’s face again. ‘I agreed to teach you because I was sure you would enjoy the lessons and pay attention. If you can’t do that, I revoke my offer and you can discuss options with the Mara and Dreamcatcher.’

I pale. Even Kate looks caught off guard, like even she isn’t sure where her words came from. Not gonna lie, that’s a relief. I’m pretty sure the Dreamcatcher is still up for killing me if this doesn’t work out.

‘I... apologise,’ Kate says. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’ Her eyes flit around the room like she’s wondering if it might be the wall colour’s fault.

‘It’s okay,’ I say. ‘I did space out.’

But Kate still looks lost in thought. I’ve never actually seen her get angry before, and I’ve never seen her confused about her own reaction. She’s always so controlled that part of me didn’t think it could happen.

‘I asked you to buy a notebook to learn your cards. The box they came in should have a guidebook. I want you to draw one card a day and write down your first impressions, then add the guidebook’s interpretation. As you go through your day, remember the card. Write down any similarities. It will take a while, but you’ll have a good grasp on every card’s meaning when you’re done.’

I nod slowly, because Kate spoke slowly, too. It kinda freaks me out a little that she’s still so taken aback by something. Sunny and Leverett both mentioned there being a smell in this house. Is that what she’s sensing? A shiver runs down my arms and spine. I hated the idea that someone was in our house when we were robbed, but I hate the idea of some invisible force being here at all times even more.

‘I actually already have a notebook,’ I say. ‘I ordered one when I bought the cards.’

‘Yes, yes. Of course. Let’s move on to something else: some easy cleansing magic. Do you have any dried sage in the house?’

I shake my head.

‘No matter. I’ll be right back. In the meantime, you get some salt and open the windows.’

I swallow and do as she says. Kate isn’t gone for long; I’ve just opened the last window when she lets herself back in. She looks confused all over again when she re-enters the house, and I remember how I felt lighter when I visited her. Did she feel the same when she left? I shiver again and make a mental note of everything Kate has said so far: salt, dried sage, open windows... easy. I can recreate this without her if necessary.

Kate joins me upstairs. ‘We will work our way through the house and finish in your garden. Take this and do as I say.’

She hands me a bundle of dried sage tied together with string.

‘It’s a smudge stick,’ she says. ‘I grow and bless all my herbs myself, as you know. This comes from my garden, too.’

Then she lights a match I didn’t see in her hand and sets the sage on fire. In my hand.

I give her a nervous look. ‘Won’t this, you know, burn me?’

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