Page 17 of A Dream of Stars and Curses

But the thought of her, hands on hips and asking Leverett what his intentions for me are, puts a smile in my eyes.

I’m excited for Bonnie when she leaves for her date. It’s been a couple of days since I ordered the tarot deck from Leverett, too, so hopefully by tonight we’ll both have news: Bonnie will officially have a girlfriend, and I will officially have—

A deck of cards.

Very pretty cards, sure, but... I can’t help comparing it. I know it’s stupid. Who knows? Maybe I’ll meet a nice Veiled who’s totally into humans; although, would that be... what? Racist? That’s not right. Xenoist? Shit, I don’t know. Either way, my point is—

I grumble at myself. I don’t know what my point is. I’m not jealous that Bonnie has a date and will definitely find her forever partner in Sunitha. I just wish I had more than cards. Like a vampire bookseller who makes me tea and destroys my sanity with a smile.

If I’m perfectly honest, though, I’m excited about my thing, too. And if I’m perfectly, completely, brutally honest, the issue isn’t the lack of actual dates with Leverett, it’s that the event he’s invited me to has got into my head. I’m not nervous as such, I—

Okay, yeah. I’m nervous.

But I’m determined not to let it get to me, at least no more than it already has. Leverett isn’t forcing me to go, so I take a deep breath and make plans for my day. Bonnie left early since it’s a bit of a drive and the two love birds want to make the most of their day together, so it’s only just gone nine a.m.. I’ll try a bit of cloud scrying—maybe I’ll even be adventurous and try a candle flame—and then I’ll head over to Leverett’s to ask about my cards and maybe some more questions about the event. Really, though, I just don’t want to admit to myself that I need to see him again or that I’m a little freaked out over the event. The cards give me a good excuse to go. Not that he’ll believe it—he can hear my heartbeat. But at least I’ll have a good excuse for being nervous this time. I can’t stop thinking about a small group of vampires isolating me and tearing me apart while Leverett is busy catching up with old friends. What if this is just a trap to get me out of the picture?

I take another deep breath and put the kettle on. Here’s another reason to go see him: I forgot to take his tea with me last time. I smile at my favourite mug, all whole again. I forgot again to thank Bonnie for fixing it, too.

Everything that’s happened lately has me... not on edge, exactly, but a little scatterbrained. Or more than a little, actually. Maybe I’ve been lying to everyone. Maybe I’m not as alright as I’ve made myself out to be.

I make a mental note to ask Kate if she could teach me some nerve-calming tea recipes—or maybe I should ask Leverett, my local DIY tea expert—and pour my water.

The mug breaks into a hundred tiny pieces.

‘Fuck.’

Boiling water splashes all over the counter and drips to the floor. Some gets my leg, but fortunately it’s not enough to leave serious burns. If it were winter, trousers would chafe against it, so I guess the heatwave is a good thing now. Though I imagine I’ll really feel the added heat later if it blisters.

‘Fuck fuck fuck.’

Lady waddles into the kitchen to chase away my attackers and barks when she doesn’t see anyone. Bless her, but I don’t want her anywhere near the shards.

‘Come on,’ I say as I try to move her out of the kitchen. ‘Mama needs to make the floor safe again for you.’

The small burns on my legs hurt a little as I move. Damn it. Maybe they’re worse than I thought. Or maybe I’m overreacting as the adrenaline from the initial shock wears off. That’s more likely.

I get Lady out, grab the hoover, and shut the door behind me. At least I didn’t cut myself. At least Lady didn’t hurt her paws. At least I didn’t slice my hand open enough to drip blood all over my kitchen. I know Leverett said he chooses not to drink blood, but would he struggle if I walked into his shop with a fresh, bleeding wound? I don’t want to find out the hard way. I don’t want to tease him over his choice. And what if he can’t control himself when he smells it? I don’t want to die, either.

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