Page 34 of The Awakened Wolf

“I’ll know when I stop being able to shift.”

“What?” He sat up, his eyebrows shooting up. “Like, forever?”

“No,” I laughed. “Of course not. Just until we whelp.”

His nose wrinkled. “The vocab is killing me. If the female stays human until the baby is born, why use all the dog words?”

I raised an eyebrow. “So we don’t forget we’re bitches, of course.”

“Damn.” His lips pressed together angrily. “Is that why they call the babies pups?”

I nodded.

“Nope.” He shook his head. “No way. My best friend is not being treated like a bitch. We are calling anybody we bring into this world a baby.”

“We can’t, Evan. It’s unheard of.” I threw up a hand to stop him as his mouth opened. “You don’t understand. The blowback wouldn’t affect only us, it would also affect the…” I stopped as the word caught in my throat, a memory surfacing. Yara in one of her trances, seeing the story of my birth, of my mother crying out to see me.

To see her baby.

I gripped Evan’s hand as my entire life played like a movie on fast-forward in my head. Every word, gesture, judgment, and protocol holding me—and all shifter females—back. From the day I was born right up until today, when I was being forced to marry my gay best friend so no one would find out that I was soiled.

No, it was worse. No one would find out that I believed, as a grown female, that I had the right to decide when to sleep with the man I loved.Evan was right. It was all so gross. And my mother had known that. She’d sought the histories that had predated our modern ways, wondering who we were really supposed to be. She’d seen the humanity in me the moment I was born.

Oh, fluff this shit.

Chapter Thirteen

“Did this thing itch as much when you wore it?” I said, yoga-ing an arm behind me to scratch at the edge of the corset. When my nails found the offending stitching and dug in, I had to bite my lip to suppress some very unladylike sounds. Relieved for the moment, I turned my attention back to the ceremony taking place in the ballroom.

Kiana and I were alone in the antechamber, a simple space of white plaster walls and dark stained beams with little embellishment. It felt almost Tudor in nature, with faceted, leaded glass windows and authentic taper candelabras. I’d always thought I wanted to marry—in my dream world where I had choices—at someplace grand and historic like the Plaza. But there was a beauty to the starkness of this place.

That was the beginning and end of my appreciation.

Despite the soft glow of candlelight against the sable wood ceiling of the ballroom and gleam of the marble floors, I couldn’t shake the sense of inescapable suction—like a black hole had formed in the center of the Eternity Circle where the gathered shifters stood watching as the Elder Wolf, gray tufted shoulder blades knifing the air as she paced, recited the sacred texts.

“You should be grateful that I had something appropriate ready for you,” Kiana whispered in response, slapping at my hand. “Stand still! You’re fussing like a toddler.”

I grimaced. I should be grateful. Ha. Like making me wear her castoff wasn’t some twisted power move. If this had been my own wedding—as Evan kept insisting on calling it—I’d have been horrified to wear Kiana’s former gown, pretty though it was, with the delicate embroidered vines around the bodice and flared skirt. I’d never been like human girls, dreaming of my perfect day, given that it wasn’t ever going to be mine to choose. But when I’d realized Sebastian was my fated mate, I admit that there’d been a minute when I’d pictured something loose and flowing, maybe with a lace overlay embroidered with stars.

You know.

Just for example.

I tried to distract myself from the satin-induced sensation of ants beneath my skin by focusing on Evan through the doorway. He stood, the very picture of male shifter beauty and propriety in his red velvet jacket with gold buttons and tails that trailed to the back of his knees, and slim black slacks that broke, in a perfectly tailored cuff, above gleaming black patent leather boots.

His attire was the only thing about him that shone. His gaze drifted, as if he were lost, standing beside my father, who seemed just as dazed, if not more so. When the Elder Wolf placed her muzzle into Evan’s hand to pass her blessings, I held my breath. Would she read the truth behind his intentions? Would she prevent the mating if she sensed our hesitation? I didn’t know if I wanted her to or not.

Hope and nausea sprang to life in me at once, opposing twins arising from the same source, like my sister and I. My heart ached at the thought of never seeing Sebastian again, or worse, having him come back after I’d been mated. At this, Nausea ate her sister, Hope, and I fought the urge to retch.

Deep breaths, Elyse, I told myself, as I sucked cool air through the cinch in my throat. It didn’t matter now. I was going to be mated. And I should thank my lucky stars it was to someone as wonderful as Evan, who was sacrificing his happiness to save me. It was time I made my peace with it.

The Elder Wolf stepped away from Evan, seemingly satisfied, and a flutter of nerves washed through me, cold and crystalline. I turned to Kiana, fighting the rise of panic as my wolf began pacing within me, contemplating mutiny. “Are you sure Kenzo hasn’t heard anything from Sebastian?”

“I would have told you, Elyse.”

“Would you?” The words squeaked out before I could stop them and a sheen of sweat broke out on my brow. It was like I had no control over myself. I blamed the dress.

Kiana’s eyes widened — gorgeous blue mirrors of my own — only I could never make mine look that innocent. “I’m truly offended. Do you really think I’d sabotage your happiness on purpose?”

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