Page 54 of The Sacred Wolf

I stared down at my jeans, tracing the seams with my fingertips rather than meet his eyes, my throat tightening. All this truth-telling was making me feel like I needed an oxygen mask to drop from the ceiling. In my family, vulnerability invited abuse, not love. I didn’t know how to ask for what I needed. Not really.

“You know how I feel about you, and you know why I believe in it, so why don’t you know why it’s been impossible for me to be around you until yesterday when… it seemed like maybe…” He paused, picking at the pearlescent embroidery on the white duvet covert. “You know, I thought when you first told me you didn’t feel the that you were lying because you were mad, or scared, just confused. But as time passed, I started to believe you.”

My mouth dropped open and I clamped it shut.

“You…do?” I stammered. “Why? How?”

“I believe it because if you’d felt the fate bond, you’d be completely unable to ignore or deny it. You’d be a slave to a driving, primal urgent need to mate with me…like I am for you.” He looked up, his eyes grazing over me with a dark intensity that burned through me. “And I don’t want that to scare you. I would never… I am in complete control, but this… this isn’t something that’s happened before. Fated mates always feel the same thing. They always… mate. So, this is taking some getting used to, and it certainly wasn’t anything I could get used to around you.”

The blistering heat in Sebastian’s eyes filled me from my toes to my scalp like magma welling up through a growing volcano. I tore my gaze from the length of his clavicle where it wound beneath the strap of the tank top and met the rise in his massive shoulders.

“I’d love to be able to shut that voice up…” he went on, “…and spend time with you like a normal shifter. Go on normal dates. And even do stupid mundane things together like grab snacks and watch Alma Mater Animalis on the couch together.”

“So, Netflix without the chill?” I said, doing my best to conceal my embarrassment with a light laugh. He had no idea how much I wanted the same thing.

He reached out a hand and his fingers grazed my cheek, wiping away a stray tear.

“More like Netflix without my wolf howling, ‘Claim her.’”

I leaned into his palm and closed my eyes for one second, breathing in the deep musk of desire flowing from him. I could picture it, the images coming together from the tiny moments we’d stolen on the tram, walking to Shake Shack, even in my dream, fictional though it may have been. And as soon as I saw the possibility of our future, I knew the answer to our problem. I opened my eyes, seeing their blue depths reflected in the light of his own.

“So, claim me,” I said softly.

He blinked, once. His head gave a little shake, like he hadn’t understood me and needed to shake what he’d heard out. “Um…Did you…Are you…What?”

His chest rose and fell visibly, his breath quickening, and like a contagion, my own chest began dancing, seeking clear air in the heated cloud that was thickening around us. His fingers curled into the linens, bunching them up into roses of white satin in his fists.

“That’s the answer, Sebastian. I know it. My sister. My father. Even Charlie…they were right. Human movies did put ideas in my head about how love should be.” I shook my head, my thoughts growing clearer with each word, my direction surer. “But we’re not human, and if Kiana was strong enough to do her duty for the packs, then I should be also. I am the Alpha, after all.”

“Wow,” he said, his grip on the sheets releasing as he sat back and blew out a long breath. “That’s gotta be the least romantic Act Three speech I’ve ever heard. Seriously, would you say that to me if I were about to take off on an airplane to leave forever?”

Despite his attempt at levity, the hurt in his voice, and his scent, was front and center. I reached for his hand and scooched closer to him, placing his hand back on my cheek. “Okay, I can do better,” I said, “because I think you’re missing the point.”

His thumb traced across my bottom lip, and I closed my eyes, the lids fluttering. My wolf was right. I did want him. He might not be my fated, but few shifters found a fated match. There was so much else that was right. Why let this one thing be in the way? And why let the fear of losing him if we weren’t fated keep us from whatever we could have right now? Every couple in every movie I’d ever loved had to live like that every day of their fictional lives… because that’s what humans did. We could be both.

“My point is that maybe... we can build something real once we quiet the wolves.” I offered shyly and then laughed. “Because mine is getting really fluffing annoying about it too.”

Sebastian sat up, his brow furrowed with concern. He leaned in and placed his other hand on my other cheek, cupping my face. His eyes searched mine. “Are you sure, Elyse? I meant it when I released you.”

He was so close that I could feel the energy of his skin, the naked need pouring off him with a snapping scent like a forest fire. If what I felt was even a tiny measure of what his wolf was crying out for, then the last month must have been torture for him.

“Yes.” The word left my throat in a breathy gasp as his fingers wound themselves into my hair and he pressed his forehead to mine. “Please.”

“May I kiss you?” His left hand ran down my shoulder to the small of my back, pulling me closer. He hissed a little as I leaned into him.

“I’m sorry!” I pulled back quickly, but he pulled me back.

“I’ll heal.” He growled and then softened, repeating, “May I kiss you?”

My hands wound around him, trailing over his warm skin, and sliding beneath his shirt. Every time he moved, his muscles tightened and rolled beneath my fingertips. I could barely breathe. I smiled softly. “As you wish.”

He leaned down, his soft lips meeting mine. They pressed softly against mine at first, exploring the shape of my mouth, curving around my generous bottom lip, and arcing lightly over the bow of my top lip. When they opened slightly, and he tasted them with his tongue, I moaned, leaning forward, my mouth growing hungry, my nails combing through the hair at the nape of his neck. His breath came harder as he pulled me down to lie on top of him. I swept at my tumble of blonde hair as it cascaded over us, and I swung my right leg over him, leaning down so that the length of me was pressed into him, as his mouth wound its way down my neck.

I tugged at his shirt, pulling it up at the waist and running my hands over his furry washboard abs, my own muscles clenching. His hands found my waist and began tugging at my shirt, and then he stopped, breaking our kiss and gasping.

“Are you still sure?” He asked, his voice ragged.

“100%” I said, practically lunging at him in my hunger. My wolf wanted to devour him whole.

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